What Does It Mean to Be Bisexual?

Whether you're here to understand your own feelings, support a friend, or just satisfy your curiosity, the more people who appreciate the nuances of the bisexual identity the better. So welcome!

If you're bisexual, it means you're attracted to people, regardless of whether they're the same or different gender as you. It's all about love without limits.

Now, being bisexual isn't just about who you're dating or hooking up with – it's about embracing your own identity and recognising that your feelings are valid and beautiful, no matter who they're directed towards. 

Bisexual people are a part of the queer community, regardless of who they are in a relationship with. Being a bisexual woman dating a man does not make you straight, but it is understandable that many bisexual people in opposite gender relationships can feel ‘invisible’. Some bisexual people may have a relatively equal attraction to different genders, while others may experience shifts in their attraction over time. Being bisexual also does not mean that you are attracted exclusively to only two genders (i.e., male and female). It encompasses a broad spectrum of gender identities and is all down to personal preference. 

Sexual orientation is a part of our personal identity but how we choose to identify and label our orientation may vary. Some people may use the term bisexual to describe their attractions, while others may prefer labels like ‘pansexual’ or ‘queer’ to express their experiences of attraction.

Invisibility and a lack of understanding from both heterosexuals and queer people can mean bisexuals experience some unique challenges in dating authentically. But bisexuality has its own letter in the LGBTQIA+ acronym for a reason, and it deserves the attention and understanding we extend to all sexual orientations and identities. Bisexual people should be supported and included within the dating community without judgement or discrimination based on their sexual orientation.

Coming out as bisexual is an important moment in a person’s life. or it to be a happy experience, it’s important to listen actively and openly to that person as they share their journey of self discovery and understanding that has led them to identifying as bi. Sexual orientation is a fundamental aspect of a person's identity, and it is not a choice. But coming out is a really personal process and no one should feel pressured into doing it before they are ready. 

Bisexual men, who are often reckoning with a patriarchal world that can be full of toxic masculinity, may face scepticism or misunderstanding from both heterosexual and gay communities. 

They may well be considered not queer ‘enough’ to be welcomed into gay spaces, but too gay to be seen as attractive to straight women. Bisexual men may experience unique dynamics in their relationships. Some may face assumptions of infidelity or concerns about their partner's discomfort with their bisexuality. We need to be aware of this kind of discrimination so we can identify it and challenge it when it comes up. 

Women who are bisexual are more accepted by society as it’s seen as ‘sexy’ in a way that male bisexuality isn’t. To unpick why this is the case, we’d need to get deep into the history of the male gaze (the tendency for visual media to depict the world and women from a heterosexual male perspective, objectifying and sexualizing women), and the fundamentals of the patriarchy (a social system in which men hold primary power and authority), but suffice to say — some heterosexual men may see a woman’s attraction to another woman as titillating and for their benefit. 

This hypersexualisation of bi women invalidates their identity and is not respectful. Women who are bi often have a harder time dating because of this lack of understanding. 

For all genders, bisexuality can be misunderstood as a transitional phase. Individuals may be labelled as confused or indecisive, which once again negates the authenticity of their feelings.

Biphobia is discrimination or prejudice directed toward bisexual people. This can manifest as negative stereotypes, derogatory comments, or exclusion within both LGBTQIA+ and heterosexual communities.

The fact is, experiences of bisexual people can be further influenced by other aspects of their identity, such as race, ethnicity, and socioeconomic status. Intersectionality can create unique challenges and vulnerabilities.

A lack of recognition and understanding can lead to feelings of isolation and a sense of not belonging.The challenges associated with biphobia, discrimination, and a lack of support can contribute to mental health issues for some bisexual people, including higher rates of depression, anxiety, and feelings of isolation.¹

Start by educating yourself about bisexuality. Recognise that it is a valid sexual orientation, just like being gay or straight. Learn about common misconceptions and stereotypes related to bisexuality, such as the belief that bisexual people are promiscuous or that their identity is not genuine.

Take the time to listen to the experiences and perspectives of bisexual people. It's essential to create a safe and non-judgmental space for them to share their stories and feelings.
Engage in open and empathetic conversations with your bisexual friends. Ask them about their experiences, challenges, and what support means to them.

Be mindful of using language that invalidates bisexuality. Phrases like ‘It's just a phase’ or ‘You'll eventually choose’ can be hurtful and dismissive. If you hear someone making such comments, gently correct them by explaining that bisexuality is a legitimate sexual orientation, not a phase or indecision.

As we’ve explored elsewhere in this article, understand that coming out as bisexual is a personal journey. Respect an individual's decision to share their sexuality or not. If someone confides in you about their bisexuality, honour their trust and don't disclose their orientation without their consent.

Don't hesitate to challenge biphobic comments or behaviour when you encounter them, whether within your social circles or in public spaces. If you hear someone making a biphobic joke or comment, calmly explain why it's hurtful and encourage a more respectful conversation.
Remember that being an ally is an ongoing process. Continue to learn, grow, and adapt your approach as you become more informed about the issues facing bisexual people.

Bisexual and biromantic are related terms, but they refer to different aspects of a person's romantic and sexual orientation. 

The word bisexual primarily pertains to a person's sexual orientation. As we’ve established, a bisexual person is someone who is capable of experiencing sexual attraction to individuals of more than one gender. This means bisexuals can be sexually attracted to people of their own gender and people of different genders.

Meanwhile, the term biromantic refers to a person's romantic orientation. A biromantic person is someone who is capable of experiencing romantic attraction to individuals of more than one gender. This means that a biromantic person can have romantic feelings for people of their own gender and people of different genders but not necessarily want to act, sexually, on those feelings. 

Of course, it’s possible to identify as both bisexual and biromantic, meaning you experience both sexual and romantic attraction to people of different genders. However, some people may use different labels to describe their sexual and romantic orientations based on their unique experiences and preferences. Ultimately, these terms help individuals express the diversity and complexity of their attractions.

This flag is a symbol of pride and visibility for bisexual people. It was designed in 1998 by bisexuality activist Michael Page² to represent and support the community, as well as to increase awareness and understanding of bisexuality. The flag consists of three horizontal stripes of different colours, each with its own meaning.

The top stripe of the flag is pink, which represents same-gender attraction. It symbolises the attraction of people who identify as bisexual to people of their own gender.

The middle stripe is purple, representing a blend of both same-gender and different-gender attractions. It expresses the fluidity and potential for attraction to multiple genders that is characteristic of bisexuality.

And finally, the bottom stripe is blue, representing different-gender attraction. It symbolises the attraction of bisexual people to those of genders different from their own.

Like other pride flags, such as the Pride Progress flag for the LGBTQIA+ community, the bisexual flag has become a prominent and widely recognised symbol of bisexual visibility. It serves as a reminder of the diverse and valid experiences of bisexuals and helps combat stereotypes and stigmas.

Pronouns are words that refer to individuals and typically indicate their gender. Common pronouns include he/him, she/her, and they/them and these pronouns are used to address or refer to someone in a way that respects their gender identity.

Bisexuality is a sexual orientation, not a gender identity, and so it doesn't have specific pronouns associated with it. People who identify as bisexual may use the same pronouns as anyone else, depending on their gender identity. For instance, a bisexual person who identifies as a woman would typically use she/her pronouns, while a bisexual person who identifies as non-binary might use they/them pronouns.

If you're interacting with someone who identifies as bisexual, it's important to use the pronouns that correspond to their gender identity, just as you would when addressing anyone else. Respecting an individual's pronouns is an essential aspect of affirming their sense of self and fostering a more inclusive and accepting society.

Supporting the bisexual community is not only a matter of inclusivity but also an essential step towards a more accepting and equitable society. Bisexuality, as we've explored, is a valid and diverse sexual orientation that deserves recognition and respect. It's not about just who you're dating or hooking up with; it's about embracing one's own identity and recognising the validity of those feelings, regardless of the gender they are directed toward.

Bisexual people are an integral part of the LGBTQIA+ community, and their experiences are unique and deserving of acknowledgment. Invisibility and a lack of understanding can lead to challenges, such as stereotypes, biphobia, and discrimination, which can, in turn, affect mental health and overall well-being.

It's crucial to be aware of these issues and work collectively to challenge and dismantle the biases that persist in society.

We should embrace and validate the bisexual experience without judgement or discrimination based on sexual orientation. In doing so, we take a meaningful step toward creating a more inclusive world for all.