Ghosting is one of the most annoying things to deal with when it comes to dating. If someone you’ve been speaking to or seeing for a while suddenly drops all contact with no warning or explanation, you’ve been ghosted. 

Modern dating has many different challenges, people not being able to commit, people not knowing what they want, and other trends like breadcrumbing to deal with. 

While people have been disappearing after dates for a long time, ghosting has become one of the defining experiences of modern romance (or lack thereof). 

However, ghosting is a real problem, that can have a real impact on you. 

When someone we invested time and energy into just stops talking to us, it can damage our self-esteem, and can leave us questioning our worth or our attractiveness. 

Ghosting is maybe the worst way to end a relationship, and it often leads to intense emotions such as anger, hurt, or confusion. 

Sadly, ghosting is becoming increasingly common as more of us meet and interact online. 

But to stop ghosting, we all need to start working on ourselves. It can be scary to be honest with someone, especially if we think what we’re going to say might hurt them, but it’s better than just leaving things unsaid. 

If you’re sick of bad dating behaviour like ghosting, change has to start with you. 

How We Can Stop Ghosting:

We Have To Get Better At Communicating 

At its core, ghosting is a failure to communicate. 

It would take just a few seconds to type out a message explaining why things aren’t working. But people choose to say nothing, because it’s easier. 

Ironically, in an age when communication is easier than ever before, we seem to be doing less of it when it comes to topics that matter. 

Communication is a skill, one that some of us aren’t always utilising to its full potential. It’s something we learn, something we can improve on, but only if we practice it.

It’s important to note that communication can only happen once we’ve been honest with ourselves. 

We have to understand what we want and why. It then requires us to be honest with the other person. 

This isn’t always easy either. 

We Have To Get Better At Being Honest

Most people choose to ghost because they’re scared of being honest. 

Honesty naturally brings with it a degree of vulnerability, and some people find that difficult, but allowing yourself to be vulnerable is crucial for forming healthy relationships. 

For others, they believe ghosting is kinder than actually being honest about why things aren’t working. 

But honesty is perhaps the bare minimum level of decency we owe each other when dating. If you don’t want to continue seeing someone, for whatever reason, you should tell them. 

This of course means that you have to actively deal with this issue head-on. 

We Have To Get Better At Dealing With Problems

It’s much easier to ignore problems than to actually confront them. 

Many of us hate confrontation, we hate conflict, and we hate hurting people. So we ghost. 

This culture of avoidance is where ghosting stems from. It takes effort and bravery to stand up and face a problem, so it’s not surprising that so many of us will sometimes choose to just say nothing. 

The more you ghost, the easier it becomes. Eventually it becomes second nature, maybe even your default way of ending things. 

Luckily, the same is true of dealing with difficult issues. Once you start doing it, you realise how much better it is than ghosting. You feel better, they feel better, no one is left unsure of where they stand. 

Here are some things you can put into practice to help you stop ghosting.

How You Can Stop Ghosting:

Put Yourself In The Other Person’s Shoes

Maybe you’ve been ghosted before, in which case you know how much it can hurt. If you haven’t, consider how it would feel if someone you were interested suddenly stopped talking to you. 

Keep this in mind the next time someone you aren’t really interested in messages you and you’re tempted to ghost. 

Think Of How Guilty You’ll Feel Afterwards

If you ghost, you tend to feel guilty afterwards. This is because, deep down, we know it’s wrong. 

Luckily, this guilt is super easy to avoid - just don’t do it!

It Gives Both Of You Closure

Ghosting is so painful because there’s no ending that gives us closure. We deserve this, even if we only went on one or two dates. 

Ghosting is a real issue, but it’s one that can be tackled if we all start dating with just a little more compassion and honesty. 

Read more tips for online dating.

Learn how to date someone new.