If you’ve just gotten out of a relationship, or you haven’t dated anyone in a while, it can be daunting to date someone new.
You have to learn about who they are as a person, what makes them laugh, what they love, what they hate, how they communicate, and a thousand other things that you can only learn over time.
However when we start dating someone new, we often get carried away with excitement, we want to spend as much time with them as possible, we want to learn everything we can about them, and we can sometimes let our feelings run away with us.
Alternatively, some people who have had bad experiences in the past close themselves off when they realise they’re getting close to someone new.
No matter how you’re feeling, here are some things to keep in mind when you’re dating someone new.
How To Date Someone New:
Don’t Rush Into Things Too Soon
When you start dating someone new and exciting, you might get carried away and start thinking about the future before the two of you have even decided you’re officially together.
Everyone seems wonderful when you first start dating. But not everyone is capable of making you happy in the way that you need.
Only you know what that requires, but once you’ve figured out what you need in a partner, you need to hold people you’re dating to that standard.
Different people move at different speeds when it comes to dating and relationships, so it’s important to remember not to jump ahead and put pressure on someone who might not be as certain of everything as you are.
However, if you’re looking to date seriously, it’s worth making sure the two of you are on the same page when it comes to what you’re looking for.
Find Out What They’re Looking For
This is one of the most important things to consider when you start dating someone new: do you want the same things? Are you both happy keeping things casual? Do you both want a relationship?
This of course requires you to know what you want first, which isn’t always easy if there’s a new person in the picture.
While you might know that you want a relationship, there’s no guarantee you’ll end up wanting a relationship with this person you don’t really know anything about yet.
If you have big plans for the future, you should definitely check that they’re at least open to the possibility of whatever it is you want. If you know you want to be married in five years, it’s worth finding out sooner rather than later if this person hates the idea of marriage.
Even if they’re gorgeous, smart, funny, and charming, don’t let yourself get carried away with someone who isn’t the right fit for you in the long-term.
Don’t Compare Them To Your Ex
This should be obvious, but we all do it from time to time.
Comparing a new potential partner to a previous one is not a helpful strategy when it comes to appraising new relationships.
It’s natural that your past experiences have shaped you and your expectations of what a relationship is.
But you shouldn’t let them control your future.
For starters, it’s unfair on this new person to compare them to someone who you know wasn’t right for you. And, since each new relationship is unique, there’s really no point comparing them as there will be so many differences between them.
If you start jumping to conclusions based on how your ex behaved, you could sabotage your new relationship before it really has a chance to solidify itself.
Intimacy takes time to develop, so don’t compare how you feel about them now with how you felt about your ex when you’d been together for a year or two.
You should give them a chance to surpass your expectations.
Don’t Stalk Them On Social Media
When you first start dating someone, you want to find out as much as you can about them. This sometimes crosses over into weird territory, like when you find yourself scrolling through tweets from 2012 at 2AM.
You should give them a chance to reveal more about themselves organically, when it feels right for them.
We all guard our lives pretty fiercely, and having our privacy invaded (even if our accounts aren’t on private) can feel like a violation.
Plus, accidentally letting slip that you know their favourite movie, or where they went on holiday last year can be pretty worrying if they haven’t told you that yet.
Don’t worry about their past. Focus on your future.
Resist The Temptation To Play Games
No matter what you’re looking for, whether that’s a hook-up or a long-term relationship, you shouldn’t play games. Don’t wait to text back, don’t hide your feelings, don’t try to make them jealous, just be honest about what you want.
This way everyone knows exactly where they stand, and you can see if they’re a good fit for you through how they respond.
Is There More Than Just Chemistry?
Chemistry is absolutely a crucial element of any relationship. If you have a lot in common but you’re not attracted to each other… that’s a friendship.
At the start, relationships tend to be nothing BUT chemistry. Over time though, this passion can fade. That’s why you need to make sure you have other things working for you than just physical attraction.
Do you have things in common: shared interests, similar styles of communication, love languages, expectations? These are what will keep things going when the initial burst of passion has passed.
Dating someone new is one of the most exciting and magical things about being alive, and it’s now easier than ever to find someone special.
Read more tips for online dating.
