What Does Polyamory Mean?

Polyamory is a relationship style where folks are comfortable with having more than one romantic or sexual partner at the same time. But here's the kicker: everyone involved is aware and is totally on board. It's all about open communication, being upfront, and treating each other with honesty, equity, respect, consent, and kindness.

LGBTQIA+ people, trans people, cis hetrosexual people - anyone, regardless of gender or sexuality, can be polyamorous. 

If you think polyamory might be for you, great! However, polyamory isn’t just about you. By definition, a poly relationship involves a number of other people, and when you’re communicating with those people, it’s important that they all understand what polyamory means and how their relationship with you might be different from monogamous (relationships with one person at a time) experiences they’ve had in the past. Open communication is super important in polyamorous relationships. Partners need to chat about their feelings, what they need, and set boundaries. This helps everyone feel heard and respected.

In polyamory, you can date or be involved with multiple people at once. And there is no right or wrong way to structure a polyamorous relationship—for example, you might have one ‘main’ partner, or you might treat everyone equally. We’ll explore this in more detail later on in this article.

A common misconception about polyamory is that it’s just focused on hooking up. In fact, you can form deep emotional connections with people. Polyamory isn't the same as other types of non-monogamous relationships, like open relationships or swinging. Those have their own sets of rules and vibes. There is of course crossover between these styles of relationships, but essentially, the difference is that polyamory is more of a sexuality and an identity. An open relationship is a specific behavior. You might be in an open relationship but not identify as poly. 

Either way, creating loving and meaningful connections with multiple people means being super committed to ensuring that everyone involved feels happy and fulfilled. It's all about creating a setup where everyone's on the same page and nobody's getting hurt. Oh, and just to be clear, polyamory isn't cheating because everyone knows what's going on and agrees to it.

There are so many different kinds of polyamorous relationships, some of which we’ll be exploring later in the article. And even if you identify as poly, each relationship you enter into may take a different shape. This is what is so fun and freeing about being poly, there are no rules in terms of how many partners you could have at any one time, the gender or sexuality of those partners or the sexual and/or romantic behaviors you enter into with those partners. All that matters is how each person involved acts and treats each other. A poly relationship has honesty, patience, and empathy at its heart. 

It's important to emphasize that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to polyamory, and folks in poly relationships often create their own unique structures and agreements based on their needs and preferences. As we’ve said, effective communication, trust, and mutual consent are essential in any polyamorous configuration to ensure the well-being of all involved parties.

Solo polyamory is a form of poly relationship in which an individual practices non-monogamy while prioritizing their independence, autonomy, and personal growth. In a solo polyamorous arrangement, you might typically maintain multiple romantic or sexual relationships with various partners, but not seek to establish a primary, cohabiting, or hierarchical partnership (more on this later). Instead, you’ll maintain a sense of self-reliance and self-sufficiency, valuing your individual needs and goals.

Key characteristics of solo polyamory include:

Polyfidelity is like the exclusive club of polyamory. Imagine you've got a group of people who are all romantically involved with each other, and they're like: "Hey, we're all in this together, and we're not looking for any more members!" It's like having your own little love bubble.

In polyfidelity, these people commit to each other and decide to keep their romantic and sexual connections within the group. It's like being in a monogamous relationship, but with multiple people involved. They're all on the same team, and they're not out there adding new players to the game.

So, it's a bit different from some other polyamorous setups where people might be open to dating or connecting with new partners outside their existing group. In polyfidelity, it’s all about making a commitment to a group of people. 

Think of hierarchical polyamory as a relationship ranking system. It's like you've got your MVP (Most Valuable Partner) or primary partner, and then you've got your supporting cast, the secondary partners, and maybe even some others in the mix.

Your primary partner is your main squeeze, the one you're super committed to and often share your life with. They might have a say in major life decisions, and you're deeply entwined with them—you possibly even cohabit.

Then, you've got your secondary partners. These are important too, but they might not be as central to your life. You could be in love with them and have a meaningful connection, but they don't have the same level of say in your life decisions or commitments.

Further to this you might also have tertiary partners, who are even less involved in your day-to-day life but are involved romantically and/or sexually. The key thing in hierarchical polyamory is that there's a clear pecking order, and each level comes with its own set of self-imposed rules and boundaries. 

Where all partners are considered equal in importance and are not categorized as primary, secondary, etc. Relationships are based on individual connections and compatibility rather than predefined roles.

Let’s reject the idea of hierarchy altogether! They believe that each relationship is unique and should evolve naturally without predefined rules or labels. There are no specific roles or expectations.

This is a term used to describe a complex web of interconnected relationships. It can involve multiple people who are romantically or sexually involved in various ways. Polycules can be as simple as a V-shaped relationship (where one person referred to as the hinge or pivot is romantically or sexually involved with two other people, but those two people are not directly involved with each other),​​ or as complex as a network with multiple partners dating each other.

In this configuration, all partners are comfortable with and often socialize with each other. They might sit around the kitchen table together, sharing meals and building a close-knit extended family-like dynamic.

Individuals maintain separate and independent relationships with their partners. There may be limited interaction or involvement between the different partners, and they may not necessarily know each other well.

Triads involve three people in a romantic relationship, while quads involve four. These configurations can be hierarchical or non-hierarchical and can take various forms based on the connections and dynamics between individuals.

Some polyamorous individuals may engage in multiple configurations simultaneously. For example, they may have a primary partner while also dating others casually or being part of a larger polycule.

In 2022 the flag was updated after 30,827 polyamorous people voted for the new design in a community-led contest. The new tricolor polyamorous pride flag was created by the designer Red Howell.

Their intention was to create a simple, bold tricolor, with a contemporary approach which included elements from the original flag which was created in 1995.  A chevron points toward the opposite end of the flag, a symbol of growth and progress, and sits asymmetrically on the flag to reflect the non-traditional style of polyamorous relationships. The heart within reminds us that love in all forms is the core of non-monogamy.