So you’ve had a good first date, and you want to see them again. It should be simple to just arrange another, but there are a number of hurdles and pitfalls between the first date and the second.
Whether you come on too strong, try to see them again too soon, or play it so cool you don’t even ask to see them again, there are a few things to avoid if you want to get that second date.
How to Make Sure You Get A Second Date:
Don’t Come On Too Strong After The First Date
If you had an amazing first date, probably all you can think about is when you’re going to get to see that person again.
But don’t sabotage your chances by immediately messaging them and telling them you’re dying for that second date - it can come across as desperate or clingy.
This is a red flag for some people, and they will immediately pull away if they believe you’re overly needy.
While playing hard to get is overrated, there is still something to be said for playing it cool, especially if your natural impulse is to try and make more plans straight away. Let them know you had a great time, but don’t launch into making further plans just yet.
Let things develop at a natural pace, and wait until the conversation comes to a point where it makes sense to suggest meeting up again.
Build A Stronger Connection
Take the time to build a deeper connection before trying to organise a second date.
Find out more about them, their routine, what they like and dislike. This will help you get to know them better, as well as potentially uncovering something that might a problem further down the line, like political differences, music taste, or the fact that they like marmite.
Build a rapport with them, understand what they respond well to, and how you can make them comfortable. This will make them feel like less of a stranger, and will strengthen whatever connection already exists between you.
This will make it more likely that they’ll want a second date, and that it will go well.
Take The Initiative And Ask To See Them Again
Lastly, the easiest way to get a second date it to just ask for one. If you feel the last date went well and you want to see them again, don’t be afraid to make the next move.
Don’t wait weeks to bring up the fact that you want to go out again, be direct and clear that you’re interested in them.
They’re are likely to be talking to other people, and going on multiple dates, so make sure you’re not forgotten.
You can set yourself apart from others by not playing games, and being honest about what you want. Be confident, and ask for that second date.
Asking for a second date can be scary, especially if you really like the person. But it sends a strong signal that you’re serious about seeing them, that you’re not interested in playing games, and that you know what you want.
Read our tips for dating someone new.
Find out whether you should have a relationship checklist.
