Everything always goes well at the start of a new relationship. You’re seeing each other all the time, you’re both exciting and interesting, you’ve never been this attracted to someone before, and you never, ever argue. 

This is known as the honeymoon period, and it’s generally accepted to last anywhere between the first six months to a year of a relationship. 

But everything changes, and you can’t stay in the honeymoon period forever. 

How You Know The Honeymoon Period Is Over:

You’ve Started Fighting More

If you’ve started fighting more, you might feel like your relationship is no longer as solid as it used to be. This isn’t necessarily true. 

At the start of new relationships, we’re less likely to argue because we don’t want to risk upsetting the other person. But eventually, we have to deal with reality. 

Fighting is a natural part of any relationship. It doesn’t mean your relationship isn’t working, and it doesn’t mean that you need to break up. You’re two human beings, you’re going to disagree, have issues, and make mistakes. As long as you’re still happy together, you’ll be fine, and you’ll actually be stronger in your relationship.

You Start To Notice Their Flaws

Nobody’s perfect. Deep down, we all know that, yet remarkably we all tend to forget that little fact when we meet someone new and exciting. Miraculously, this person seems to be without flaws: they’re smart, funny, attractive, they’re cool, cultured, and can probably cook really well and… juggle, or something.

This of course, isn’t true. They’re not perfect, they will have some flaws. At the start of the relationship we just don’t notice the little things that will eventually go on to bother us further down the line. We’re so caught up in the excitement of having found someone new that we don’t pay attention to the signs that they might not be perfect, because, honestly, why would we do that? Why look too closely and end up ruining a good thing? Of course we want the honeymoon period to last as long as it can. 

But sadly, it can’t last forever. This is good - it brings you back to normalcy. Putting your partner up on a pedestal is a bad idea for several reasons: it elevates them above you in the relationship when the two of you should be equal, and it means you aren’t really holding them to the same standards you would with everyone else. 

Most people begin to realise the honeymoon period is over when they start noticing their partner isn’t actually perfect. It’s usually small but irritating habits, like they don’t do the dishes, or they leave their towel on the floor after a shower. 

This doesn’t have to be a big deal. If you really love someone, you also kind of have to love these little imperfections, or at the very least you have to accept them. Your partner isn’t going to be perfect all the time. You will be irritated with them every once in a while, but you have control over how you react when that happens. 

They Aren’t Exciting Anymore

After spending so much time with them, you notice one day that you aren’t as excited to see them as you once were. You’ve learnt everything there is to know about them, you know exactly what they’re going to say and how they’re going to act. 

Guess what? This just means you finally know them. When the honeymoon period is over, we start to have a deeper connection with our partner as they really are, not the idealised version of them we’ve built up in our heads. 

Human beings seem to have trouble accepting that things change. We want something stable, safe, and above all, permanent. Life doesn’t work that way, and neither do relationships. They’re dynamic, and both you and your partner should change, grow, and challenge each other as your relationship continues. 

That being said, it can be tough dealing with the fact that your relationship is no longer new and exciting. It often takes us by surprise, and can cause us to worry about the future of the relationship. 

Luckily, things don’t have to change too dramatically, you just have be more active in your relationship. Here’s how you can keep the spark alive. 

What To Do Once You’re Past The Honeymoon Period:

Accept It

Part of what people struggle with is that they look at the honeymoon period ending as some kind of failure. This isn’t true though. 

Your relationship isn’t invalid because things have changed. It’s not the end of your relationship, it’s just growing into something new. 

Some couples say they grew closer together once the honeymoon period was over, that they trusted each other more, and were more comfortable being themselves, not the polished versions we present to other people. 

Continue To Make Time For Each Other

Once the honeymoon period is over, real life often creeps in. We all have jobs, bills, family, other things that demand our attention and sometimes have to take priority over our relationships. 

That’s ok. That’s what life does. You shouldn’t try to make your relationship your sole focus all the time, but you also shouldn’t just let it fade into the background either. The second you take your partner for granted, things tend to slide into dangerous territory. 

So make time for each other. Find ways to let your partner know they’re special and that even when you’re busy, you’re still thinking of them.

Keep the romance alive by continuing to go on dates, giving little gifts, and saying ‘I love you’. This shows them you care, and that you’re still willing to make an effort.

Here’s how to date when you have a busy career. 

Try Something New

Sometimes you need to inject some excitement into the relationship to remind yourselves there are still brand new things the two of you can experience. Try something neither of you have ever done before. This can be a dance class, a new sport, or taking a trip somewhere you’ve never been. 

This breaks you out of your routine, which you might not have realised you’d been stuck in for months. 

Once the honeymoon period is over, the relationship can become, to some extent, work. This is normal. Relationships take work, relationships need work. But they’re worth it.