There are many different types of love that we can experience over the course of our lives. The love we feel for our partner is different to the love we feel for our family, or our best friend. 

These different types of love are an integral part of the human experience and have existed for thousands of years. 

Our names and concepts of these different types of love actually come from the Ancient Greeks. 

While a lot has changed, love, and the different ways we experience it, is still universal.

What Are The Different Types Of Love?

Eros

Eros is romantic love, passionate and full of desire. This was the kind of love the ancient Greeks believed was brought on by one of Cupid’s arrows. 

Eros was also the name of the Greek God of Love, and the Greeks were actual fearful of this kind of love because they thought it was too powerful, and it would lead to recklessness. 

They had a point in all fairness. We’ve all made questionable decisions when we’ve fallen in love. 

If we’re lucky, eros may one day turn into agape. 

Agape

Agape is unconditional love, the kind of love we all want. It is selfless and eternal. 

It is linked strongly to charity, and the Greeks believed it was fundamental to the well-being and functioning of society. 

It is our natural desire to help others, even if we don’t know them. When we feel it for our partners, we put their happiness first.

Philia

This is affectionate love, the kind we feel for our friends. It is also known as platonic love, because the philosopher Plato believed that physical attraction wasn’t necessary for love. 

Many ancient Greeks actually considered Philia one of the highest forms of love, as it placed equal importance on both parties. 

Philautia

This is self-love, something we could all work on cultivating. 

While you might think self-love sounds like narcissism (another word we owe to the Greeks), it’s actually a healthy way for us to extend the same compassion to ourselves that we would for others. 

The ancient Greeks understood that self-love was a vital foundation for all other types of love, and was something to be celebrated. They believed that true happiness was only possible when someone loved themselves. 

Philautia is characterised by self-confidence and self-worth, which are incredibly important lenses through which we view the world and our place in it. 

Storge

This is the love felt between family members. It is what binds a family together, and is resilient and reliable. 

Storge was believed to be innate, something that existed automatically between parents and their children. 

Pragma

Pragma is the long-lasting love that comes with marriage. It is characterised by balance, calmness, and trust. 

People in long-term relationships sometimes struggle with a loss of passion, which we remember as Eros. 

It is far more helpful to realise that that early love has simply transformed into something stronger. 

Mania

This is definitely the worst kind of love: obsessive love. Many would argue that obsession is not the same as love, as it is unhealthy, unwanted, and destructive. 

It tends to be characterised by jealousy and anger. People who experience this kind of emotion are often scared of losing the object of their obsession. 

It is interesting to think of love in these different terms and expressions. 

Given that we now only have one word to describe many different forms of love, much of the subtlety and nuance involved in our experiences of love have been lost. 

Understanding that we are capable of many different forms of love broadens our horizons, and expands our capacity for deeper feeling. 

Read why you should start dating again.

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