All relationships go through different stages as time goes on. You meet, you date, you develop feelings for each other, you start a relationship.
Things change and grow in ways you couldn’t possibly have predicted when you first met each other.
Sometimes it can be difficult to know which stage of a relationship you’re in.
While every relationship is different, below are some of the general stages you might expect your relationship to go through.
What Are The Different Stages Of A Relationship:
Meeting
All relationships begin with two people meeting for the first time.
There may be a spark straight away, where both people know for sure they have a romantic connection.
In movies, this is known as the ‘meet-cute’. Harry meets Sally, Molly Ringwald gets detention with Judd Nelson, Audrey Hepburn meets whatshisname for Breakfast at Tiffany’s.
Alternatively, or you might have been friends or co-workers, not realising that there’s potential for something more. This is your classic Chandler and Monica-type situation, usually accompanied by some awkwardness as you move from friendship to slightly-more-than-friendship.
Either way, once you’ve met and realised there’s something there, you begin the courting stage.
Courting
Once you’ve had the first date, and you decide you want to keep seeing each other, you begin the courting phase.
You date, you learn more about each other, and you can start to assess if they’re right for you in the long-term.
In rom-coms, this stage is usually shown through a montage: getting dinner, watching movies together, walking through a park in the snow, spinning a clay pot together, that sort of thing.
Once you’ve been seeing each other for a while, it’s inevitable that one or (hopefully) both of you will become infatuated.
Infatuation
Once you’ve had a few dates, you’ll enter the infatuation stage.
Also known as the honeymoon period, the infatuation phase of a relationship can last for up to a year.
It’s defined by a feeling of intense excitement, attraction, and interest in your new partner.
In this stage, we tend to overlook any potential flaws in who we’re seeing, or pretend to be someone we’re not to impress them.
This can’t last forever, and once you move past this stage your relationship tends to either break down, or become much stronger.
Read more about what to do once you’re past the honeymoon period.
Growth or Breakdown
After the honeymoon period is over, we start to see some of the smaller flaws our partners have. Most of the time these aren’t important, but sometimes we realise that they’re entirely different people to who we thought they were.
This stage is characterised by your relationship being tested in unexpected ways, leading to fighting, arguments, and doubts about the future. Sadly, this can sometimes end in a breakup, but it doesn't have to.
Otherwise, this point tends to be where the two of you have more in-depth, serious conversations about what you actually want for your future: do you both want children, how do you feel about your careers, where you want to live etc.
If you want different things, this is perhaps the best point to end the relationship.
Read our post on how to move on after a breakup.
If you do stay together, this tends to be the beginning of a more secure, committed relationship, where both people know they’re in it for the foreseeable future.
Love
It’s generally accepted that the honeymoon period is characterised by infatuation, and what comes after is characterised by love.
Most romcoms show us infatuation, the start of relationships where people meet. Love is harder to capture on film.
Being in love gives you a quiet confidence, a calmness that comes from knowing you’re supported, respected, and wanted.
Your relationship will become more stable, secure, and easier to navigate once you both know that you’re looking for the same things and you’re in it for the long haul.
Learn how to tell if you’re in love.
Moving In Together
After you’ve been seeing each other for a while, you might decide to move in together. This is a big step for any relationship, one that solidifies your commitment to each other.
It’s important to keep some level of freedom and autonomy. Just because you now live together it doesn’t mean you have to spend all your time together as well.
Keep some time for yourself, your hobbies, your old routine. Of course things will change when you move in together, but that doesn’t mean you have to give up everything you did before.
Once you’ve settled into your new situation, you move into a stage of relationship maintenance.
Ongoing Relationship Maintenance And Renewal
Beyond this point, most relationships settle into a comfortable and predictable pattern. You’re happy, you’re committed, you know who your partner is, what they want, and how they navigate their side of your relationship.
But your relationship still needs work. Even though you’ve been together for a long time by this point, you still need to put in effort to keep things running smoothly.
This stage requires consistent small acts of kindness, affection, and to keep the romance alive.
If you take your relationship for granted you could lose it, so you need to maintain that emotional connection.
No matter what stage your relationship is in, you need to keep in mind what you want. Is your relationship moving in that direction?
If it is, and if you’re happy, it’s going well.
Read more about the different types of love.
Learn about the different love languages.