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How To Tell If You're In Love

How do you know if you’re in love? It’s a pretty big question.


Almost everyone will ask themselves whether they’re in love or not at some point in their lives, especially if they’ve never been in love before. 


Of course, many of us will repeat it again and again as we go through different relationships. 


Love means different things to different people, and can be experienced in different ways for different reasons. 


There’s a theory that we all have a love language, a way that we express concern, show affection, and generally prove our love for another person. 


There are also different types of love we can experience, but for many of us, a large amount of our time and energy is spent chasing romantic love over the course of our lives. 


But when we are finally confronted with the possibility that we might actually be in love, we find ourselves uncertain.


Falling in love can be exciting or terrifying, depending on how you feel about it. 


But knowing if you are actually in love, or if you’re just infatuated with someone can be difficult. 


Falling in love is a process that can take months. It starts with simple attraction, turns into affection, and hopefully, will lead to passion. 


But love is something else entirely. 


How To Tell If You’re In Love:


You’re Comfortable And Relaxed Around Them


The early stages of a relationship are normally incredibly stressful. 


You want to impress them, you want to be funny, and to be as attractive as humanly possible at all times. 


Eventually this fades, and you should feel comfortable around them. 

When we trust someone, we drop our defences, and can fully relax. This can require a certain level of vulnerability, letting your guard down enough for them to see the real you. If you do this, it leads to increased levels of intimacy. 


This can lead to you actually wanting to spend more time with them, because you’re no longer stressed out by them, you just want to see them because they make you happy. 


Of course, this could just be because your brain is chasing the good feelings it associates with them. 


Love Causes Chemical Changes In The Brain


It’s often said that love makes you crazy. 


While this isn’t strictly true, love does fundamentally alter our brain chemistry, which can account for why we might experience volatile changes in mood during the highs and lows of early relationships. 


During the early stages of love, the body generates higher levels of cortisol, which gives us the feeling of butterflies in our stomachs. 


The Kinsey Institute has studied the brain chemistry of people in love, and found that the emotion has a direct and measurable impact on our brain activity. 


It turns out there’s actually a specific pathway in the brain dedicated to feelings of intense romantic love, located in a place called the ventral tegmental area, apparently. 


People in love had a high amount of activity in this region, including high levels of dopamine transmitted throughout the rest of the brain. 


Just looking at a picture of the person they were in love with was enough to trigger higher levels of dopamine production. 


They also have lower levels of activity in the frontal cortex, the area of the brain linked to decision making and rationality, which explains why people in love sometimes make questionable decisions. 


You Want Them To Be Happy


One of the most reliable signs that you’re in love is a desire to make the person you’re in love with happy, even if it means going out of your way to do so. 


This move from a typically selfish outlook to one of compassion usually signals that you value their happiness as much as yours. Your levels of empathy and concern for this person will go up, and you'll find yourself trying to make them happy, because it makes you happy.


Love is sometimes about sacrifice, and if you’re really in love, you’re happy to look after your partner from time to time. 


Really though, only you can tell for sure if you’re truly in love or not. 


It feels different for everyone, but in general you should feel safe, respected, and trusted. 


If you’re looking for love, find out whether or not you should have a relationship checklist to find your special someone.


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