People feel and express love in different ways. There are different ways, or languages, that we can express love, and everyone has a specific favourite, due to our personality types and how we were raised. 

What makes one person feel secure and loved may not work for another. We often subconsciously give love in the way we’d like to receive it, and so can’t understand why someone else might not feel the same way. 

Knowing your partner’s love language will help you show your affection for them in a way that makes them feel loved. 

What Are The Five Different Love Languages?

Words Of Affirmation

Some people need to be reminded that they’re loved with words. Compliments, loving words, and praise can mean a lot to some people. If your partner responds well to this, consider telling them you love them, that they're special, or praising them when they do something nice for you.

If your partner responds to this, remember to check in with them and tell them that you love them. 

Acts Of Service

Some people respond best to small acts of service being done for them. Cleaning the house, cooking a meal, or doing the laundry can show them that they’re important to you, and that you’re willing to spend your time and energy doing the everyday practical things that makes their life easier. They’ll definitely appreciate it. 

Plus, even if your partner doesn’t particularly care about this love language, it’s just good to help out every once in a while. 

Receiving Gifts

This love language doesn’t necessarily mean you have to buy expensive jewellery or go on trips around the world. 

Just remembering to pick up your partner’s favourite food can be enough to show them that you’re thinking about them. 

Quality Time

For some people, the act of giving them your undivided attention is what they want most of all. 

Dedicate time to spend together, with no distractions. Show them that they are your priority, and spend a while doing nothing but focusing your attention on them. 

Physical Touch

For some people, nothing is more important than physical touch. Perhaps the simplest love language of all, physical touch is a way humans have been showing affection for thousands of years. This is an innate response towards someone we are close to, and it has a few psychological benefits. We’re more likely to bond and grow attached to someone we touch, and our brains release oxytocin when we cuddle someone we love. 

If your partner responds well to being touched, remember to hold their hand when you’re out in public, give them a massage when they’re stressed, and give them a cuddle whenever you have time. 

This is probably just good advice for any relationship to be honest. 

How To Find Out Someone Else’s Love Language:

If you want to figure out your partner’s love language, observe them. Try each of the acts mentioned above, and see how they react to each one. If one in particular makes them really happy, that’s probably how they’d like to shown love and affection in the future. 

You could always just ask them - some people may have specific things they respond to that you may never have guessed on your own. 

What To Do If You And Your Partner Have Different Love Languages:

There can be friction if you and your partner have different needs and different ways of expressing love. If they need to be touched and you’re not a tactile person, you might find it annoying if they constantly reach for your hand. 

It’s important to remember to make adjustments for the person you love. Even if you hate doing the washing, if your partner needs acts of service to feel loved, isn’t that more important?

Looking at how you communicate and making small changes can make a big difference in your relationship. 

Learning your partner’s love language, as well as you own, can help make your relationship more secure and comfortable.