It’s World Mental Health Day on Thursday the 10th of October, a campaign designed to encourage people to be honest about how they’re feeling, and to end the stigma around talking about mental health.
We’ve partnered with The Mental Health Foundation to help spread the word, and some of our team went down to Trafalgar Square in London to take part in a demonstration to raise awareness about the day.
Talking about a serious topic like mental health can be daunting, since no one likes feeling vulnerable.
But it’s so important to be honest about it. If you don’t talk about any issues you might be having, they’ll likely build up and get worse.
Even just talking to a friend can improve your wellbeing, and could be the first step in making change for the better.
Anything can have an impact on your mental health: your job, your home, your family.
But one area is common for everyone: relationships.
How Mental Health And Dating Are Linked:
We’ve found that almost 1 in 3 of our users have experienced mental health concerns at some point during their online dating journeys, so we wanted to explore how dating can help or hinder our mental health.
Relationships are a vital component of our overall psychology - they’re fundamental to our wellbeing.
Both socially and biologically, we’re driven to seek out compatible people to spend time with and develop closer connections to.
This isn’t always easy.
Spending time, effort, and emotional energy looking for new partners, going through the process of getting to know someone, and letting yourself be vulnerable with them can all influence how we’re feeling.
It’s important to be aware of that, as it can have a big impact on how we navigate through our dating journeys.
Our Mental Health Can Change How We Interact And Connect With Each Other
Our mental health can change how we perceive and react to the world around us.
Depression or anxiety can make it far more difficult to meet people, or to build connections with them.
When you’re struggling to manage on an internal level, everything external can seem like an additional challenge that we may not be equipped for.
When you’re going through a difficult period, making the effort required to date can be especially exhausting.
If you know you can only manage a certain amount of activity or communication, don’t overextend yourself trying to impress someone new.
It can help to be honest with anyone you’re talking to, as that way you both know what to expect.
From there, take things at a manageable pace. Self-care is something you have to consciously, actively do.
It’s important to leave yourself time and energy to focus on yourself, not just on your relationships.
LGBT Dating and Mental Health
Sadly, members of the LGBT community are more likely to face mental health issues, due to discrimination, bullying, and systematic inequality.
LGBT+ people are also more likely to be the victims of abuse or a hate crime while on a date.
This has lead to many couples avoiding normal signs of intimacy when in public, like holding hands or kissing. This can have a massive impact on someone’s mental health, and it’s something that needs to change.
Societal attitudes are often slow to change, but if more were being done to educate the public on issues facing LGBT people, as well as improvements being made to existing mental health services to make them more inclusive, we’ll start to see things change for the better.
We can all take steps to be more empathetic towards people going through mental health struggles, even if we haven’t got any experience of what they’re dealing with. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is listen.
Read our guide to LGBT+ dating.
Unhappy Relationships Are Worse For Our Mental Health Than Being Single
Romantic partners are often the first person we go to when we need help or support.
Over time, we build trust, and come to rely on them during difficult periods.
Because of this emotional investment, it can be difficult to end relationships when they’re no longer what we want.
Research has found that staying in unhappy relationships has a negative effect on our mental and physical wellbeing.
The quality of our relationships is as important to our overall health as the quality of our diet, so it’s vitally important to look after ourselves and end any relationships that aren’t making us happy.
How Your Mental Health Can Be Impacted By Online Dating
We know online dating can sometimes be difficult. That’s why we teamed up with Psychotherapist Gemma Grainger and lifestyle vlogger Grace Victory to tackle some of the issues app users face:
(video is available on full article version)
Mental Health Issues For Modern Daters:
App Fatigue
If you’re on multiple dating apps, you might be spending large amounts of your time on them, looking at hundreds or even thousands of profiles.
If you’re active on these apps, your phone will likely be constantly buzzing with notifications. While this attention can be fun at first, after a while it can become a chore to deal with, or even become overwhelming.
Remember to take breaks for using apps for too long, giving yourself time to recharge.
Body Image
The online world is filled with unrealistic expectations of what bodies should look like. Whether it’s on dating apps or Instagram, we’re bombarded with seemingly ‘perfect’ people living perfect lives.
If we’re honest with ourselves, we know that what we’re seeing simply isn’t true.
We know that social media in general is linked to higher levels of depression, anxiety, envy, and loneliness.
One study has found that 60% of social media users feel it has negatively impacted their self-esteem.
Dating apps can produce a similar effect, with it seeming like everyone else is looking for someone better than you.
But that’s not true. Having a mindset focused on competition isn’t helpful, and it will ultimately lead to you self-sabotaging future relationships.
You can’t look at everyone else as a threat to your happiness.
Always remember: your self-worth should never be dictated by what someone else thinks of you, or whether you’re in a relationship.
Ghosting
A modern phenomenon, ghosting refers to when someone (typically on a dating app) suddenly and inexplicably drops all communication with someone they were speaking to.
When this is someone you were starting to get romantic feelings for, this can be really hurtful. It makes you feel unimportant, and worse, disposable.
Ghosting fuels self-doubt. Because there’s no closure, there’s no understanding as to why this happened.
Questions like ‘what did I do wrong?’ ‘Am I not good enough?’ invariably lay the problem at the feet of the person who has been ghosted, rather than with the person who has disappeared.
It’s important to remember that although technology like dating apps makes it easier than ever for us to meet new people and communicate, it’s still important for us to be civil to one another, even if things aren’t going well.
Having an open, frank discussion about why things are ending is best for everyone, and leaves no one uncertain about where they stand. This is a healthy way to end a relationship.
Abuse
According to Pew Research Centre, 28% of dating app users have faced some kind of harassment or offensive language.
While responsible apps have robust safety features in place to tackle this kind of behaviour, it is still a reality that can damage a person’s confidence, and impact their wellbeing.
If you suffer any kind of abuse on an app, you should report it immediately.
How Dating Apps Can Look After Their Users:
Dating apps need to prioritise their users’ mental health.
New technology like AI can help stop online abuse with filters designed to find and report certain words or phrases that might be malicious.
This is a fast and effective way for platforms to tackle negative behaviour, but it’s not the only method at their disposal.
AI systems aren’t always 100% accurate. That’s why nearly all dating apps employ teams of moderators, so users can report people who have done something wrong.
Once a profile is reported, it gets sent to a moderator who can assess the situation, who may remove that profile from the platform.
By eliminating these people from the community, apps can make their platforms safer, healthier places for people to spend time in.
What To Do If You’re Having A Mental Health Issue:
Having fulfilling relationships or emotionally supportive partners can massively reduce the stress of dealing with mental health issues, but shouldn’t take the place of a professional who is qualified to help you.
If you’re struggling with ongoing mental health issues, you can call 0300 123 3393 for more information.
Learn more about the work the Mental Health Foundation does, or share this post with what mental health means to you.