Going on a first date can be a little nerve-wracking for all parties involved, but it’s important to take time to ensure that your date feels comfortable throughout the entire experience. After all, a successful date is all about having fun and feeling at ease with one another. At Badoo, we want you and your date to feel safe while having fun. Check out our safety tips to play your part and show your date that you're a responsible and respectful person.
1. Agree to a venue & activities together
First things first, it’s important to decide on a venue together, in advance, to ensure both of you feel safe meeting at the location and agree to the activities you’ll do together. If you take the initiative to suggest where to go on the first date, choose a location that's public and easy to access so there are no worries that your date will get lost, be in unfamiliar territory, or be stressed trying to get there. Remember to let someone you trust know where you're going and who you're meeting. That way, you can have peace of mind knowing that someone has your back if things go awry.
2. Understand and respect boundaries
Regardless of how attracted you may feel towards your date, it’s ok not to rush into making moves physically, like touching, kissing, or engaging in sexual intimacy. Take time to talk about and understand your date’s boundaries so you’re able to respect them. Always ask for consent before making any physical moves, and know that consent can be withdrawn at any time. When it comes to getting physical on a first or second date, Sue Newsome, a qualified sex and relationships therapist had this to say: “If I had an expectation of how something was going to unfold on a date, and the person said it wasn’t OK for them, then naturally, I’d be disappointed. But it’s important to respect their preferences and thank them for speaking up.” Everyone’s boundaries are different and very personal to their own experiences, often they may have nothing to do with you – but they should always be respected.
3. Limit the amount of alcohol involved
Before meeting up, consider suggesting these sober activities that can make for a great first and second date. If you or your match choose to have a drink on your date, make sure to limit the amount you’re having and be aware of your surroundings. It’s also good to check whether your date is comfortable with you drinking alcohol on the date before you meet up. Again, they may have personal boundaries around the types of activities they like to engage in on a date and this is all a part of getting to know each other.
4. Have a plan in mind, but be flexible
Have a plan for your date, but be flexible and open to other suggestions if your date changes their mind or would like to do something different. Who knows, they might have some great ideas or know a cool spot that you haven't even thought of. Listen to their ideas and be willing to compromise but also trust your gut if you’re anxious, about the suggestion. It’s ok to firmly and respectfully decline.
5. Body language
Pay attention to your date's nonverbal cues and body language. If they seem uncomfortable or hesitant about something, stop doing what you perceive to be making them uncomfortable and ask if they're OK. This is a good time to get to know more about your date and what they like and don’t like. Accept that they may want to do or talk about something else. Being attentive to your date's needs and feelings is crucial in creating a safe environment and having a good time together.
6. Ask your date if they’re OK getting home
When going on a date, it’s best practice for each of you to make your own way there and back. This ensures that both of you can leave the date at any time if something doesn’t feel right, or if you’re just not interested in carrying on the date. That being said, feel free to ask if they’d like you to walk them towards their transport, or if they’re OK to do so alone. It’s a kind gesture that shows you care about their well-being and safety – just ensure you respect the answer if it’s a no.
7. Deal with rejection with grace
Sometimes a date can spark a connection, and sometimes it just doesn’t happen. If you’ve been on a date, and your match has gone silent afterwards or communicated that they’re not interested in going any further, it can bring up negative emotions. Dr Nicole Nasr, Counselling Psychologist & Clinical Associate at Harrison Psychology Group told us, “We’re social animals. All we want is to belong and be loved, which is natural. So whenever someone presents as not wanting us to belong in their circle, it hurts.” The important thing to remember when we’re rejected is to be respectful of the other person’s decision. While rejection hurts, the odds are that there will be someone out there who’ll be ready and able to have the kind of relationship that we’re looking for, so it’s best to accept the rejection with grace and look forward instead.
The most important aspect of a date is creating a safe and comfortable environment for both of you. The key takeaway is to listen, be attentive, and respect boundaries. By following these safety tips, you can show your date that you respect and value their well-being, and leave room for all the fun parts of the dating experience. You’ve got this!