Body hair is both personal and political – and it always has been. From chipping it off with sharp stones as early as 30,000BC, ripping it off with smoothly-applied wax in a salon or proudly showing it off on social media – how humans feel about body hair is constantly evolving. Societal standards, porn, and marketing all have a part to play in how we perceive our own body hair, and what we choose to do with it (if anything). This constantly shifting narrative can have a big impact on our self-esteem, confidence, and sensuality - but should it?

When did we become obsessed with body hair?!

Body hair, especially female body hair, has been policed since the dawn of time. As early as 3000BC, women were using copper razors in Egypt and India to remove body hair and prevent lice, on their heads and in their pubic areas. What started as a hygienic practice became a marker of high society: basically, if you were hairy, you were inferior (sorry babes).

In the Renaissance period in Europe, women were depicted as goddess-like creatures with absolutely zero pubic, armpit, or leg hair. And those stray follicles you find on your stomach or near your nipples? Nowhere to be seen.

In the 1970s, we started to see a shift – women began to let their body hair grow freely during the period where hippy ideals met feminism. Then in the ‘90s, the Brazilian wax swept across the world and people paid big money to have most of their pubes waxed off again.

Let it grow or how about no?

Now? People are choosing different methods of dealing with their body hair: some prefer to go au naturel, some don’t feel comfortable until every last follicle is plucked, lasered, or waxed off, and others flip between the two schools of thought. All of these options are perfectly ok – what isn’t is being made to feel that our sexuality and sexiness depend on how we look, rather than who we are and how we feel. Branding our body parts (and the hair that grows on them) as fashionable or unfashionable is problematic and suggests that we’re not good enough unless we fall into the primary category. That’s just not true.

In recent years, most of us have got on board with the idea that our bodies are our own to do exactly what we like with, but others haven’t fully caught up. Back in 2017, Swedish model, photographer, and artist Arvida Byström was trolled online when she appeared in an Adidas campaign with unshaven legs. She took to her own Instagram account to respond to the comments, saying:

“My photo from the @adidasoriginals superstar campaign got a lot of nasty comments last week. Me being such an abled, white, cis body with its only nonconforming feature being a lil leg hair. I can't even begin to imagine what it's like to not possess all these privileges and try to exist in the world. Sending love and try to remember that not everybody has the same experiences being a person."

For trans women and men, the issue of body hair can be even more complex. As Juno Roche wrote for her piece in Refinery29, “Hair removal for trans women isn't just vanity or feeling gender-stigmatised, it's an issue of personal safety.” While not all trans women will choose to remove their body hair, Juno sheds light on an important point: why is body hair viewed as masculine?

Alok Vaid-Menon, a gender non-conforming writer, performer, and public speaker, launched the hashtag #NothingWrongHair to challenge this notion and celebrate people of all genders with body hair. The hashtag has gained traction and been used by people of all genders, and those who are gender non-conforming, demonstrating that body hair is something that all humans have. It’s not unsightly, or something to be ashamed of, but if we want to remove it, that’s our choice.

So...should you shave before sex?

For some people, growing their body hair is a sign of liberation, or a middle finger held up to patriarchal standards. For others, it’s simply less effort, more cost-efficient, and gives their skin an extra layer of protection. Many people choose to remove their body hair, preferring the way it looks or feels against their clothes. That’s totally ok too!

When dating someone new, the prospect of getting naked with them can be anxiety-inducing for all sorts of reasons. Even if you’re someone who’s super comfortable with your body hair, or lack of it, it can still be unnerving stripping off and preparing yourself for your partner’s reaction. When it comes to the question of what you should do with your body hair before sex, the answer should always be: whatever you want! Though your partner may have a different preference to you in terms of grooming, someone who’s deserving of being in your bed shouldn’t make you feel the need to change your appearance. And, let’s be honest, you probably have more important things to be doing than keeping on top of personal grooming 24/7. Why miss out on the opportunity of having great sex with someone you like because of a bit of hair?

The key thing to remember is that in 2021, what’s important is how you feel in yourself and your choices – and if hairy legs and a non-shaved pubic area makes you feel sexy, then that’s all that matters. Whether you grow it wild and free, whip it all off, or change it up from time to time, you’re the only person who gets to have a say in what you do with your hair. Do your thing!