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6 Questions to Ask Your Match Before You Go on a Date

Starting a conversation on a dating app can feel nerve-wracking, and developing small talk into meaningful conversation isn’t always easy. It can be difficult to gauge how much chemistry you have with someone through a screen – and even more so if the only thing your match has said is “hey.”

In fact, 57% of daters told us they find it difficult to know what questions to ask when they first start speaking to someone on an app. When asked why, the majority (62%) say it’s because they feel pressure to ask a good question or kickstart a strong conversation. These anxieties are a totally normal part of online dating, but don’t worry, we’re here to help you up your conversation game and get sparks flying.

We enlisted the help of digital dating expert, Perri Schneider, to create ‘The Chemistry Test’ - a list of questions to ask before meeting, to determine if there’s something worth pursuing IRL.

Suss out the attraction

1. “So what caught your eye about my profile?”

    Why it works: This flirty question is a great way to suss out if there’s an initial attraction. It sets them up to give you a compliment, which you can reciprocate with something you like about their profile - from their great taste in music to their cute pet.

    Get them talking

    2. “If you had to talk about one topic nonstop for 20 minutes / give a TED Talk, what would it be about?”

      Why it works: We feel chemistry when conversation flows effortlessly. Asking your match about a subject that’s close to their heart helps you both get into the conversational flow and lets you find out more about what makes them tick.

      Ask for their advice

      3. “I’m looking for a recommendation for (something you’re interested in) - do you have any suggestions?”

        Why it works: Chemistry requires a certain amount of commonality and shared ground, so asking for their recommendation on anything from local coffee shops to new shows helps find out what interests you share and makes your match feel appreciated. You could even try planting some ‘low-hanging fruit’ in your profile that asks matches for their recommendations on something you love.

        Find out their #fails

        4. “Tell me about your biggest travel fail”

          Why it works: A good #fail conversation breaks the ice, gives you both the opportunity to laugh and be a little self-deprecating, but also lets you discover how they cope when things go wrong.

          Set up for a great first date

          5. “What’s the best first date you’ve ever been on?”

            Why it works: It might seem counterintuitive to ask about past dating experiences, but this question is a great way to test the spark. It takes the conversation to a more heightened place, lets you know what they enjoy doing - and sets you up to plan something even better for your first meeting.

            Get them on the phone

            6. “I’m about to make dinner, want to keep me company while I cook?”

              Why it works: Voice chemistry is real! After spending some time chatting back and forth, getting on the phone with someone is a great next step before meeting in real life. Calling them while you’re doing an activity that has a set timeframe (like making dinner or walking somewhere) also gives you a helpful get-out if it’s not going so well.

              So, next time you’re stuck on what to say to a match or wondering if there’ll be chemistry on your date, give these questions a try and see what happens.

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