When you get into a relationship it can be tempting to jump into it head first, and spend all your time together. If you’re not careful, you might end up putting more effort and energy into the relationship than into yourself. This isn’t sustainable in the long-term, and will end up draining energy that you should be putting into other areas, like your own happiness. 

Remember, a relationship is a partnership - both people need to be involved, both people need to be supportive, and both people need to remain separate individuals with their own lives. 

To really have a successful relationship, you have to look after yourself, your wellbeing, and your long-term plans. A good partner understands that, and will support you.

That being said, learning to look after yourself first when you’re in a relationship isn't always easy. Looking after yourself is a conscious choice you have to make every day. But once you make it a habit, it can radically change every area of your life, making you happier, more secure, and more sure of who you are and what you want. 

That’s pretty fantastic, and it will make you a more vibrant person to be in a relationship with. 

Why You Need To Look After Yourself In A Relationship

If you spend all your time looking after someone else, you’ll have no emotional energy left to take care of yourself. If you take care of yourself first, you’ll be in a much stronger position to help other people when you need to. 

Looking after yourself isn’t a selfish act. Personal growth and care is something we all should put more effort into. It takes work, it has to be cultivated, and encouraged, and you have to make time for that. Your time isn’t infinite, so if you’re in a relationship, it’s perfectly reasonable to need some time for yourself. 

5 Ways To Look After Yourself In A Relationship:

Take Time To Understand Where You’re At And How You’re Feeling

If you want to start taking care of yourself, you need to be able to understand how you’re feeling. This might sound obvious, but you’d be surprised how many of us walk around completely unaware of how we’re actually feeling, why we feel like that, or how these feelings change how we act. 

Being able to comprehend your emotions is a skill that you can learn and improve, and this will help you understand when something is impacting you. You can’t take care of yourself if you don’t know what’s wrong, so this is something to practice everyday. Check in with yourself and see if anything needs to be addressed, or if anything can be improved. 

This is also important for being a good partner in a relationship: you need to be self-aware and understand how your actions impact your partner. This means being aware of what you’re doing well at, and what you need to work on. 

As you move through life, you inevitably change, and that’s a good thing. Just make sure you know the direction you’re heading in, and that’s where you actually want to be going. 

If not, you might need to reassess your relationship. This doesn’t mean you know to do anything dramatic - you might just need to talk to your partner about what’s going on.

A good way to develop your understanding of how you’re feeling is to spend more time by yourself. 

Spend Time On Your Own

It’s important to establish boundaries in your relationship. You can’t spend all your time together, you need to be able to take some time for yourself every once in a while. 

You can spend time on your own doing anything you want, going for a walk, having a bath, going to the gym, anything that gives you a chance to relax and just be by yourself. This time allows you to focus on how you’re doing, take stock of where you are, and just focus on you.

Another good way to look after yourself is to spend more time with your friends. 

Spend Time With Your Friends

It’s important not to neglect your friends when you get into a relationship. Spend time with them, ask about how they’re doing, and have fun without worrying about anything. 

Maintaining healthy relationships with your friends is vital to your overall well being. Without a core group of friends, you might end up isolated, only spending time with your partner. This could result in the two of you resenting each other as pressure builds up over time. 

Friends allow us to get away from our relationship for a little while. They’ll support you when you need them to, listen to your problems, give you advice, and help you get back out there if you do suffer a break up. Being in a relationship is great, but please, don’t forget about your friends. 

Have Your Own Goals, Activities, and Hobbies

You shouldn’t let your relationship take over your entire life. If you have things you like to do, or things you want to achieve, don’t stop because you’re in a relationship. 

If there’s something you’ve been working on or doing routinely since before you got into your relationship, don’t sacrifice it for your partner. A good partner should actually encourage and support you to keep up with your plans and hobbies, rather than expecting you to give up something you love for them. 

Keep focused on what you want to do, whether that’s long-term goals or just your plans for next week. 

Communicate

Sometimes the best way for you to look after yourself is to talk to your partner. Talking about how you feel, or what you need from the relationship will make things easier for the both of you. 

If you’ve begun to prioritise your own needs first, you might be spending more time apart, or talking about things that could change your relationship. Talking things through will help them understand why you need this, and will stop them worrying about the fact that the relationship is changing. 

Once you start taking care of yourself, you should notice things start improving pretty quickly. 

Read more about why you should love yourself before anyone else, or learn about the different stages of relationships.