Written by Nick Levine

It's not always acknowledged, but dating involves bravery. Every time you arrange to meet someone you've been chatting to on a dating app, you set yourself up for a potential disappointment. If you don't click IRL, all the app chat can feel like a big waste of time. And worse still: you've just invited a relative stranger to make a pretty instant judgment on you as a person. It's savage and can really knock your confidence when it goes badly. A terrible date clings to you like a week-long cold.

I can still remember my worst ever date all too crisply. He looked like his photos and seemed pleasant enough, at first, but it was also abundantly clear within minutes that we didn't fancy each other. But, the social contract of dating requires that you carry on with polite conversation for a drink or two, so we tried to do this. Sadly, it soon became obvious that we had very different political views, didn't share the same sense of humour, and majorly clashed over my job. I like being a journalist and think it offers a certain value to society. He basically implied that he found it all a bit grubby. Over and over again.

Now, generally, I dodge confrontation like I dodge unmasked bus passengers, but on this particular evening, I was feeling kind of fractious. So, I argued back by pointing out that his job on a very popular but slightly problematic reality TV show wasn't quite morally spotless either. This did not go down well. The date ended with me knocking back the dregs of my drink and saying: "I think we're done here." It was genuinely excruciating, and because I later found out that we have friends in common, I still find myself in the same room as this guy once or twice a year. Joyful!

Anyway, though this whole sorry episode still makes me cringe now, I did manage to dust myself off and get back in the saddle. Here are five things I've found helpful when it comes to shaking off a terrible date.

1. Unfollow them immediately

Or if this feels too brutal, mute them instead. Either way, you don't need to wake up to their latest gym selfie in a few days' time.

2. When you're ready, have a debrief

This doesn't mean replaying every painful moment in your head, which you definitely shouldn't do. It just means honing in on exactly what went wrong. Could you have steered the conversation in a safer direction - from politics to pop music, for example - to keep the vibe a bit lighter? Did your date say something that was a definite red flag - and if so, should you have cut and run sooner? And did you agree to meet IRL too soon? In my experience, most bad dates happen when you take a punt on someone you haven't been chatting to for very long. Sometimes this bold approach pays off with a really wonderful and surprising date, but when it doesn't and the encounter is awkward, you might leave feeling as though you need to shed a layer of skin.

3. Think about your own dating fundamentals

I said at the start that dating requires bravery, but it actually requires much more than this. It takes energy and social polish to showcase yourself in a way that isn't too extra, while also showing a genuine interest in someone you've never met. To be funny and charming on top of this, well, that's even harder. I've learned over the years that if I'm tired, stressed or preoccupied with something else in my life, I probably shouldn't go on a date that night. This was probably my ultimate failing with Belligerent TV guy: yes, he was rude, but if I'd been in a better mood, I could have diffused the tension better. You can never guarantee that your date will behave well, but you can guarantee that you're feeling well and rested enough to present yourself at your best. If you're having a hellish day, it '

4. Arm yourself with some failsafe "disaster zone" questions

After a terrible date, it's reassuring to know that you're equipped to handle an unbearable encounter in the future. The best way to neutralise a tense or awkward interlude is with an upbeat, controversy-free question. Don't ask if they have a holiday booked, because you're not their hairdresser. Do ask what TV show they've enjoyed recently because everyone loves sharing their views on Succession or The White Lotus. The best "disaster zone" questions will always steer the conversation in a more positive direction. Do you have a favourite restaurant? How do you like to spend a day off? Who or what is your biggest inspiration? It's a corny tactic, but it works.

5. Finally, get things in perspective

Always remember that a terrible date isn't really a reflection on you. No human being can strike up a meaningful connection with every single person they meet, especially when a pressure cloud of "romance" and "chemistry" is looming over them. In a way, the best way to shake off a horrible date is to keep in mind that the next one will definitely be better. Even if that person isn't massively keen on your job either.