Let’s be honest – this year has been a tricky one for everybody. The Covid-19 pandemic and subsequent restrictions have impacted our wellbeing and most of us are feeling, well, a bit rough. Connecting with others couldn't be more important right now and having a flirt is good for our mental health (don't quote us on that). Lots of us are finding solace on dating apps, but in the new complex world of dating, not knowing when we can meet up with our matches makes things a bit more tricky. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed, but don't panic. At Badoo, we're here to offer some tips for keeping your mental health in check while still enjoying using dating apps. We all deserve to be complimented, have fun, and feel sparks fly - now more than ever.
1. Set intentions and boundaries
If we’re constantly swiping, it’s easy to get stuck in a rut of not actually making any progress or decisions about who we’d like to date. Spending a lot of time on an app in this way can be overwhelming, which leaves us feeling deflated. Instead of doom-swiping, it’s a good idea to clearly define what you’re looking for before you open the app, whether that be someone to chat to casually, someone to hook up with when you can, or a serious relationship. Make sure that the people you’re talking to match your values and be honest about your boundaries; there’s nothing wrong with politely ending a conversation if you find out they’re not for you. By holding ourselves accountable to what we actually want, it becomes easier to make conscious decisions while online dating – and saves a whole lot of time for doing other things we enjoy.
2. Log in when you feel good, log out when you don't
It’s totally normal to have down days and it’s ok to take a break from your phone (dating apps et al) when you’re not feeling great. Recognising how you’re feeling before opening up the app is important; if you’re feeling optimistic and excited about the prospect of matching and talking, then you’re good to go. If you’re feeling pessimistic or lacking in energy and motivation, it’s probably worth waiting until you’re feeling more level. Not only does this protect your own energy and mental health, but it also guards against rushing messages or sending half-hearted replies, giving you a better chance at making a true connection with someone.
3. Move things offline when you’re ready
As soon as you feel comfortable, it’s a good idea to move the conversation offline. You can’t always get a sense of whether you’re genuinely interested in someone from messaging alone and moving on to a date, phone call, or video chat is the best way to assess the situation. You’ll save yourself time, energy, and mental space, rather than continuing to put in the hours sending messages back and forth until one of you loses interest. Obviously, coronavirus restrictions will have an impact on whether you can meet your match IRL or not, but there are always ways to get to know someone a little better virtually – order food from a local restaurant for each other, watch a film together, or just have an old-fashioned coffee and a chat.
4. Be yourself
Though it can be tempting to inflate your interest in someone else’s hobbies to get them on side, it’s not going to do you any favours in the long-run. Of course, taking an interest in your match’s likes and dislikes is important, but telling them you LOVE fantasy football when you’d rather watch paint dry is just going to give you a headache in the future. Similarly, hiding things you perceive as flaws (spoiler alert: they’re not flaws) in the photos you choose for your profile is something we’re all inclined to do, but providing an accurate representation of yourself is the best way to attract someone who truly appreciates and values you – because you’re great as you are. Dating honestly means communicating your wants and needs, being authentically you, and allowing someone the chance to get to know your wonderful self.
Prioritising our happiness over endless swiping means we'll be in a better position to start something exciting (and better equipped to deal with things if they go to shit). You're 50% of the dating equation, after all, so make sure that 50% is looked after.
