Written by Rebecca Twomey

Do I fancy them? Maybe they don’t fancy me. Why did I go in for a hug when they just waved? Do they look like their pictures, or hang on, do I? Is this date going to be a disaster…maybe it is already...?

If only that pesky internal monologue of self-doubt on first dates could just shut up. There’s no denying it, the initial five minutes of a real-life meet up is sort of torture, and in some instances, can feel like actual torture. It’s exhausting – and that’s before you’ve even ordered the first drink. Badoo has found that over half of singletons dread the first few minutes of an IRL date, saying they’re the most uncomfortable. But it needn’t be an assault course of awkwardness, you can be calm and confident with these simple hacks.

1. Get there first (yes, really)

If you feel confident enough, try getting to the date 15 minutes early. This buys you time to choose where you want to sit, order a drink and decide how you sit rather than fidgeting in front of your date. You can always message your date and claim you have a call to make so will arrive a bit earlier, and ask what drink you can order for them. While you wait, think about how you can be comfortable: try to relax, sit up, don’t fold your arms if you can help it and turn towards the entrance – all of this makes a warmer greeting for your date. If that’s not the move for you, or if you’re meeting for a different date activity, listen to a song en route that makes you feel amazing, or remind yourself of the best compliment you’ve ever had, be it from your boss, best friend or mum. The pre-date anticipation can be a killer, so replay all the great things people have said about you in your head, to heighten your confidence.

2. Tell them what you’re wearing (no, not like that)

Ahh the big fear - will they look like their pictures and will I recognise them? It can be tricky when all you’ve got to go on is a 2D version of a stranger. So much so that we Brits spend four hours feeling nervous ahead of an IRL date! Everyone shares the same worry, especially as it can be awkward to turn up and not know who exactly you’re looking for. One way around this is to help them find you – tell them in a lighthearted way, in advance, what you look like. You could message your date and say “looking forward to meeting, I’ll be the blonde with the pixie crop and red t-shirt.” People tend to reciprocate, so it’s likely you’ll get a message back such as “I’m the one with a nose ring and a checked shirt.” That way, you’ve got a little more to help identify your date before you take the risk of waving at a stranger…

3. Go in for the half-hug – it’s not as complicated as it sounds

Hug? Handshake? Cheek kiss? Or kiss on both cheeks? The greeting possibilities are endless, meaning as is the opportunity for awkwardness. According to Badoo’s findings, a quarter of us mess up our date arrivals by going in for opposite greetings. Ever gone in for the second cheek kiss and been left hanging? If you know, you know. If one of you doesn’t take the risk and go in for a full hug or kiss on the cheek - and let's face it, you’ve seconds to decide - the half-hug could be your answer. Your faces don’t need to get too close but you can show some physical intimacy and even a little flirt. Oooh, go on! Gently touch their forearm and go in for a demi-hug without it being a full embrace. It sounds a lot more complicated than it is, but don’t overthink it - you don’t even need to embrace, you can simply touch their arm gently and say “great to meet you.”

4. Make an entrance

If arriving in advance is not for you, then take five seconds before you enter your date venue to get in the groove. Roll back your shoulders, breathe in and out, and as above, remind yourself of the best compliments you’ve ever received.

Walking into a bar solo can be intimidating, so if that’s your worst fear, there are other options. Once you’ve chosen a venue, suggest you and your date go for a stroll first. You can get a coffee and have a wander before you head inside. Walking can help calm your nerves and let go of some of the tension. Just try to keep your hands out of your pockets – it can look as if you’re hiding something. Instead, keep your hands open and where your date can see them, for more positive body language. Once you’ve had a little walk, you can head to your date venue together. Another option is to meet at the train station or a focal point in the town centre, and walk to the venue together – this will serve as your warm-up.

5. Remember, they’re probably just as nervous

When our insecurities take hold, we can so easily forget that our date’s are also likely raging a riot. No matter how confident they may seem, they will still be feeling nervous, trust me! Before your date, remind yourself that you’re both in the same boat. And not just that, Badoo has found that singles relax into things after just 16 minutes, so you don’t have long to go.

When it comes to body language, try to make eye contact sporadically, but don’t overthink it, just be you. Sit how you would with a friend. If you’re worried about getting the shakes, try and have something in your hands, such as jewellery to play with, or a drink to hold, just try not to cross your arms.

It can also feel as if all eyes are on you both and everyone knows you’re on a date. Even if that is the case - which is unlikely - remember we’re all suckers for love and everyone wants you to succeed so will be cheering you on.

Finally, it’s worth noting that no one really remembers the start of a date, as the rest is much more important - so once your first five minutes are over, you know you can focus on enjoying yourself - that’s the whole point after all!