Dating apps have become a rite-of-passage over time, and now, with offices lying empty, bars largely shut, and a slim-to-non-existent chance of meeting someone in the real world – they’re our lifeline. Dating online can be a time-saver – gone are the days of getting dressed up to go to an event and send pointed looks at people we fancy in the hope that they clock on. The idea of scrolling through potential matches on the sofa sounds like a dream (and it can be) but in the current climate, when we’re obsessed with doom-scrolling and staring at screens 24/7, it’s easy to become fatigued and disillusioned. Thankfully, there are some things we can do to combat dating burnout and look after ourselves in the process, so read on if you’re feeling fed up.
Set yourself goals
Yes, this does sound like a bit of a corporate approach to dating, but stick with us here. Setting goals for yourself in a dating context doesn’t mean organising 7 video dates for every night of the week, (though props to you if you have the energy), it’s more about working out what you’re using Badoo for. Be honest with yourself, as well as your matches. Is it to find a significant other who cares about the environment as much as you? Is it to date casually and discover what sets your heart racing? Is it to find someone to partake in a steamy sexting sesh with? Once you’ve worked out what you’re looking for, keep this in mind while you’re on the app. Setting goals and intentions on dating apps helps us save our energy and prevents us from meaninglessly sifting through hundreds of profiles and making decisions based on what and who is on offer. Do they tick the boxes on your dating wish list? If not, keep on scrollin’.
Be intentional with your time
Hands up who immediately opens a dating app when there’s an ad break on TV or a dull moment waiting for the bus? We’re pretty much all guilty of mindlessly swiping through a sea of faces to kill the time, but using apps in this way isn’t doing us any favours. If you’re serious about dating, it’s a good idea to set yourself a little bit of time each day/week to sit down and really invest and pay attention to who you’re matching with. 15 or 20 minutes is a good starting point. Just make sure to put the phone down before bedtime so you get a proper chance to decompress and relax.
Forget finding ‘the one’, it’s all about ‘the one right now’
When you’re single, it’s all too easy to put pressure on yourself to meet the love of your life – especially when you’re inundated with endless couple selfies and engagement announcements on social media. Of course, not all of us want our dating journeys to end in marriage and babies, but we can still fall into the trap of feeling bad ourselves if we don’t meet someone we can see becoming part of our future. Dating should ultimately be fun (we know, a revelation), but it’s very easy to forget that and think of it more like a means to an end. You’re going to have terrible dates, fantastic ones, and everything in between. The stories we gather along the way are half the fun, and dating isn’t a linear experience ending at a specific destination. It’s time to take the pressure off!
Treat yourself like your dream partner would
Think about some of the best parts of being in a relationship: the fancy meals you have together, the gifts you exchange on special occasions, the words of affirmation you share and receive. Part of the reason we’re so keen on romantic relationships is that they (should) involve care and kindness. Use your time as a single person on the search to treat yourself the way you’d expect a partner to treat you: we’re talking ordering and making yourself delicious meals, speaking to yourself kindly, and treating yourself to something nice just because. Not only does self-care boost your mental health, but it also encourages you to raise the bar for potential partners and means that when you do meet someone, you’ll hold them to a higher standard. You deserve the best, after all.
Know that it’s ok to take a break
We get it – sometimes life gets a bit overwhelming and dating becomes the last thing on your mind. We want you to use our app to have fun and make honest connections, it shouldn’t be a source of stress. If you’re feeling despondent about dating, it’s totally ok to take a break. On Badoo, you can ‘hide’ your account at any time if you need some time out. Paid users can choose ‘Almost invisible’ mode – which means you hide your profile from other users except when visiting profiles. If you want to go one step further, you can select ‘Cloaked invisibility’, which means you won’t show up as a profile visitor either. If you’re a female Badoo-er, you can also manage your settings to ensure you’re comfortable – you’ll have the option to limit the amount of incoming activity and receive messages only after you’ve matched with someone. Your safety and mental wellbeing are important, and we’ve got your back!
We all have moments of self-doubt, which can be worsened when we feel like our dating conversations are going nowhere or we’re not quite right for anyone. That’s when you know it’s time to pause and take a step back. Dating burnout is rubbish, but you aren’t. Call a friend, throw on the most extra outfit you own and dance around, crank up a bit of Lizzo, buy yourself a bunch of roses, go for a moody walk and listen to a podcast – anything that reminds you what a fabulous human being you are. You’ve got this.