Body shaming comes in all different forms - it can happen on social media when a person posts a cruel comment about our appearance underneath an Instagram picture. It can happen in real life, when someone says: “they’re too skinny, I’m glad I don’t look like them” or “I could never date someone with a nose like that”. We can even body shame ourselves by critiquing our shape or size in the mirror and comparing ourselves to our idea of a ‘good’ body. The pressure to live up to a beauty standard is something which is deeply ingrained in society, and ideas about what we should look like can sometimes spill over into the body shaming of others. It’s never ok – and it’s something that shouldn’t be tolerated on dating apps. Every person deserves to feel confident in their body and to feel safe and secure when online dating. We wanted to shine a light on how harmful body shaming is, and explain what we’re doing at Badoo to protect our community from it.
What is body shaming?
Body shaming language includes any derogatory comment made about someone’s appearance, body shape, size, or health. It includes language that can be deemed fat-phobic, ableist, racist, colourist, homophobic or transphobic. On dating apps, it can take the form of someone discouraging particular people from interacting with their profile, for example by stating that they won’t consider anyone under a certain height. It can also come in the form of making negative comments about someone’s disability, skin condition, hair or mocking them for any aspect of their physical appearance. Something that people view as a harmless, throw-away comment, could actually be considered body shaming. If in doubt, it’s best to steer away from talking about appearance – pick something else to talk about instead.
Who can be body shamed?
Although body shaming is something that many women experience, it doesn’t just affect just one gender. Men can be body shamed for their appearance, and trans, gender non-conforming, and non-binary people experience body shaming too. Even celebrities aren’t immune from it – last year, Lizzo called out TikTok for body shaming when the app continuously took down videos of her in swimwear. More recently, model Nyome Nicholas-Williams experienced censorship on Instagram after posting semi-nude images from a photoshoot. Instagram continuously removed the photographs and warned that Nyome's account could be shut down. “Millions of pictures of very naked, skinny white women can be found on Instagram every day,” Nyome told The Guardian at the time. “But a fat black woman celebrating her body is banned? It was shocking to me. I feel like I’m being silenced.” After experiencing this body shaming, Nyome campaigned for a change to Instagram's guidelines and won. No matter who we are or what we look like, we shouldn’t have to experience body shaming, in any form.
Why is body shaming harmful?
Body shaming can have long-term effects on a person’s mental and physical health. If someone makes a cruel remark about the way we look, it isn’t easy to forget. Putting ourselves out there on a dating app is a brave thing to do, and when somebody we’re speaking to body shames us, or we come across a profile which makes us feel excluded, it can have a real impact on our self-esteem. Dating apps should be a place for honest and kind communication, flirting, fun and connection: not somewhere we’re made to feel badly about our appearance.
So, what is Badoo doing about it?
- We’re using technology to identify negative language that amounts to body shaming, both on Badoo profiles and in the chat function.
- We're updating guidelines for our content moderators to provide specific guidance against body shaming.
- If someone is using body shaming language on Badoo, our moderators will supply resources to help the person learn how to change their behaviour.
- Those who are affected by body shaming in-app are encouraged to report the individual using our ‘report’ feature. This will escalate the issue to our moderation team, who will investigate the report and take action against the abusive user.
- If an instance of body shaming is repeated or particularly harmful, the individual acting abusively can also be banned from our platform.
The way we look shouldn’t be up for critique while dating – ever. Dating is all about meeting someone who accepts and likes us for who we are - not someone who thinks it’s acceptable to list off reasons not to date us. If they’re not being kind and making us feel like the fabulous humans we really are, it’s time to say goodbye.
You can read our community guidelines here and view more information about safety on Badoo here.