What Does It Mean To Be Non-Binary?

You’ll no doubt have heard the term, but you might not have felt comfortable to ask  what it actually means. Don’t worry, we’ve got you! We’re going to explain what non-binary means and how it’s different from other gender identities. We’ll cover everything you’ve ever wanted to know but were maybe too afraid to ask. We’ll also share some advice for people about coming out as non-binary and how to be a great ally. 

So, let’s start at the beginning. What’s a binary? 

Dictionaries define the term as relating to, composed of, or involving two things.*

In the context of gender, binary refers to the traditional and culturally recognized notion that there are only two distinct genders: male and female. This binary view of gender assumes that a person is either male or female based on their biological sex, and that gender expression and characteristics are strictly aligned with this binary view.

This binary view of gender is deeply ingrained in many cultures around the world and has historically been used to reinforce strict gender roles and stereotypes. However, it does not accurately reflect the diversity of human experience when it comes to gender identity and expression.

Non-binary refers to a gender identity that does not fit within the traditional division of male and female. People who identify as non-binary may see themselves as being both masculine and feminine, neither male nor female, a combination of male and female, or a gender that is entirely different from these categories.

Non-binary people may use a variety of pronouns, such as they/them, ze/hir, or xe/xem, instead of he/him or she/her. Or a mix of some or all of these pronouns. Using she/they pronouns, for instance, can be a way of telling people you are non binary but equally don’t mind being associated with a gendered pronoun. People choose a mix of pronouns for their own reasons but if they don’t want it to be a major change to the way friends and family talk to or about them, giving people the option of shifting between pronouns can be useful.

It's important to respect an individual's preferred pronouns and gender identity, as everyone has the right to self-identify and be recognized for who they are.

Gender fluid refers to a gender identity that is not fixed or static and may change over time. Gender fluid people may experience changes in their gender identity, feeling more male or female or somewhere in between at different times. Fluid gender folk may also identify as non-binary at times or exclusively, but their gender identity is characterized by a sense of variability or flow. 

Non-binary people typically experience a sense of being somewhere in between or outside of the male-female binary. And while a non-binary identity can also shift and evolve, it isn’t characterized by its changeability. If this is all starting to sound a bit confusing—don’t worry! Gender identities overlap and intersect, and the whole point of breaking down boundaries is to challenge the notion that labels can truly express the full diversity of someone’s gender or sexual identity. So the most important thing is to keep an open mind, listen, and learn from people who identify differently to you.

Non-binary and genderqueer are similar in that they both describe a gender identity that does not fit within the traditional binary of male and female. However, there are some differences in how these terms are used.

As we’ve established, non-binary folks may identify as neither male nor female, both male and female, a combination of male and female, or a gender that is entirely different from these categories.

Genderqueer, on the other hand, is a broader umbrella term that can encompass a wide range of gender identities and expressions that are not exclusively male or female. Some genderqueer individuals may identify as non-binary, while others may identify as genderfluid, gender nonconforming, or a combination of different gender identities.

In essence, non-binary refers to a specific gender identity, while genderqueer is a more general term that can encompass a variety of non-traditional gender identities and expressions.

It's important to remember that gender identity is a personal and complex experience, and individuals may choose to use different terms or labels to describe their gender identity based on their own unique experiences and feelings.

Good question! Well, for a start, it promotes inclusivity: Recognizing and respecting non-binary folk is crucial in creating an inclusive environment that values diversity and respects the rights of all individuals to be themselves.

Non-binary identities challenge the traditional gender binary that assumes there are only two genders, male and female. By recognizing non-binary identities, we acknowledge the existence and validity of gender diversity and that can help challenge sexist stereotypes and other issues relating to what society ‘expects’ from men and women, which is only ever a positive thing.

Understanding what it means to be non-binary also supports mental health and well-being: Non-binary people may experience discrimination and marginalization due to their gender identity. Recognizing and supporting our non-binary friends can help to reduce this stigma and provide them with a sense of belonging and acceptance.

And finally, recognizing non-binary identities is part of a larger movement towards social justice and equality. By acknowledging the existence and validity of non-binary identities, we are promoting a society that values diversity and respects the rights of all individuals, regardless of their gender identity. And that’s something we can all get behind!

If you are questioning your gender identity and think you might be non-binary, there are several things you can do to explore your feelings and find support. Firstly, educate yourself: Learn as much as you can about non-binary identities and the experiences of non-binary individuals. This can help you to understand your own feelings and find a sense of community with others who share similar experiences.

Talk to someone you trust: Consider reaching out to a friend, family member, or mental health professional who you feel comfortable talking to about your feelings. They can provide you with support, guidance, and resources to help you explore your gender identity further.

Experiment with your gender expression: Non-binary individuals often express their gender in ways that do not conform to traditional gender norms. Experimenting with your appearance, clothing, and other aspects of your self-expression can help you to explore your gender identity and find what feels most comfortable and authentic to you.

Seek out resources and support: There are many resources available for non-binary individuals, including online support groups, local LGBTQIA+ organizations, and gender-affirming healthcare providers. These resources can provide you with information, support, and a sense of belonging as you explore your gender identity.

Remember, everyone's journey of self-discovery and self-expression is unique, and it's OK to take your time and go at your own pace. Be patient and kind to yourself as you explore your gender identity and know that there is support and community available for you.

*Merriam Webster (2023) Merriam Webster. Available at: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/binary (Accessed 30 August 2023)