Written by Tash Walker, Co-Chair of Switchboard
We've partnered with Switchboard, one of the leading LGBTQIA+ charities in the UK, who wrote this post on what it means to be an ally to the LGBTQIA+ community, how you can learn, and why it's so important to show up.
What Is Switchboard?
Switchboard LGBT+ Helpline is one of the UK’s longest running LGBTQIA+ volunteer-led charities. We are a confidential national helpline open to all, for anyone who wants to talk about gender identity, sexuality, sexual health and emotional wellbeing.
We have three arms to our services - our telephone line, instant messaging and email service which are open from 10am to 10pm, 365 days a year.
At Switchboard we’re here to listen and support people in a confidential and non-directive environment. So that means we don't tell people what to do and we don't judge. We’re a safe space.
How Switchboard Helps With Dating:
We're often asked whether Switchboard is still relevant and if a helpline is still needed, and each time we say yes.
Yes because our contacts are increasing up 40% at its height this year in comparison to 2019.
Yes because we are seeing a rise in the number of people experiencing loneliness and isolation, people struggling with the complications of social media and online dating in the LGBTQIA+ communities, and more young people questioning their sexuality and gender identity.
We know at Switchboard that these are not “just statistics” – behind every increase there’s a person. A person who may need to talk about what is going on in their life and how they are feeling, and that’s exactly where Switchboard comes in.
LGBTQIA Online Dating Questions:
Online dating for people who are part of the LGBTQIA+ communities is different to that of our cis-gendered heterosexual counterparts. There are going to be questions that are asked which are specific to the LGBTQIA+ communities, the best things to remember are to be open, kind and respectful of the people you meet online.
Here are two important questions that you might want to think about asking or be comfortable with being asked about yourself:
How do you identify? It’s really important to be respectful and let someone define their own identity, never make assumptions based on someone’s profile or presentation. This applies to both sexuality and gender identity.
What are your pronouns? Asking someone their pronouns is a great way to know from the beginning what language makes someone feel comfortable and included. A great way to do this is by saying what your pronouns are first, for example “Hi, I’m Tash (she/her/they/them)”
Why Allyship And Representation Is So Important Right Now
Being an ally to underrepresented groups is so important right now, and that goes hand in hand with representation. As so many wise people have said, we cannot be what we cannot see.
We have to learn from our history and we have to work together where we support the human rights of each and every one of us. People should be free to live without fear of judgement or discrimination.
The LGBTQIA+ communities and their allies need to stand strong and united with each other, but especially the black and transgender and gender non-conforming communities. Alone we are strong but together we are stronger, and louder.
Looking at LGBTQIA+ allyship, it’s really easy to show your support for us and also for LGBTQIA+ people to show support and use their privileges to better support other members of those communities.
Here are some top tips to help:
Listen, be open-minded and be willing to talk.
Empathise
Don’t make assumptions about someone’s gender identity, sexuality or background.
Read up on language, what does the acronym LGBTQIA+ stand for? What do pronouns mean and represent? It’s a really great way to feel more comfortable using different terms and educating yourself to use language to show support as well.
Learn about LGBTQIA+ history. This is often forgotten in the stories of wider history and is a great act of allyship, to learn and honour the often untold stories of all LGBTQIA+ history. The podcast The Log Books focuses on Britain's LGBTQIA+ history through the calls we have taken at Switchboard and is a great place to start!
Find out what challenges the LGBTQIA+ communities are facing today and how you can best support them.
Get involved in supporting the community, from sharing campaigns, to signing petitions, showing solidarity through spreading the word about support services and charities like Switchboard’s Safe Space Campaign and our Emotional Wellbeing Pack.
Stand up for equality and what you believe in. This can often be an uncomfortable and difficult experience, but it’s really important to let your voice be heard and support those communities you are an ally of.
Or on a really personal level, if there’s someone you’ve been thinking of recently, reach out to them - give them a call or drop them text, let them know you’re thinking of them.
Community is so important and inclusion is at the heart of what makes a really strong and accepting society.
How To Get In Touch With Switchboard:
Switchboard, the national LGBT+ helpline, operates a confidential helpline, email and instant messaging service open from 10am - 10pm every day.
Call 0300 330 0630 to speak to one of our volunteers today or visit switchboard.lgbt for more.
