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The Only New Year’s Dating Resolutions You Need

Written by Nick Levine

It's cheesier than a quesadilla to say it, but the New Year offers an opportunity for a fresh start. It's a time for weighing up what does and doesn't make you happy, then tweaking your daily routine to cut back on the dull and dispiriting stuff. This is definitely true when it comes to dating, an area of life where it's all too easy to slip into bad habits. With this in mind, here's a list of suggested dating resolutions that should help to maximise your romantic potential in 2022.

Give up ghosting

Unless you're a truly saintly dater – and in which case, I salute you – you've probably ghosted someone at least once. Equally, you've probably been ghosted and know how much it sucks. Sometimes the chill wind of silence is worse than a frosty text saying "sorry, I felt no spark". But, here's the thing: if we all resolve to ghost less often, this grisly part of dating will gradually become less common. So don't just give up ghosting for your own peace of mind – do it for the entire dating community.

Give your dating profile a glow-up

This doesn't just mean adding new photos, though of course that never hurts. If you haven't updated your profile in a while, you'll be surprised by how out-of-date it might seem. After another year of personal growth, self-reflection and riding Miss Rona's neverending emotional rollercoaster, your "personal info" section could probably use a spruce-up. And who knows, you might even learn something about yourself in the process?

Ask yourself what you want

What you really, really want. In 2022, are you looking for fun or "the one"? There's no need to spell it out to everyone you match with. Frankly, if someone started a chat by saying they're aiming for marriage and a four-bed in the countryside, I'd freak out. At the same time, a simple "hi" should always come before that suggestive grey sweatpants pic. But if you keep your goals in mind at all times, it should help you separate the sweet (matches) from the naff.

Be more ruthless

With yourself, not your fellow daters. If you're a fundamentally optimistic person, you've probably let yourself be strung along by someone who just isn't interested. We've all invented excuses for a date's growing indifference. "They're too busy to reply right now." "They're just not texting person." "They only reply late at night because that's when they're most emotionally open." In 2022, it's time to end the cycle. If they can't be bothered to message back, they definitely don't deserve to share your Netflix account.

Cut back on comparisons

There's no such thing as a perfect relationship. Even friends who are loved up and shacked up have problems – let's be honest, a nagging sense of boredom tends to set in when you get super-comfortable with someone. Still, the point here isn't to gloat, but to appreciate the fact that – cliché klaxon! – the grass isn't always greener. Once you stop looking enviously at what other people have, you'll be able to see what you want more clearly. Keep in mind that what works well for your bestie isn't necessarily what will make you happy. Constant comparisons are the enemy of keeping a truly open mind.

Drop the pressure

This one is easier said than done, but it's important. Society impresses on us from a young age that finding a partner is the ultimate goal – you won't be happy, not really, until you find your "other half". This line of thinking is reductive and unhelpful because not everyone is built for a long-term relationship. Even if you are, you won't do yourself any favours by viewing each date as a potential success or failure. The less pressure you heap on yourself beforehand, the more you'll be able to relax and enjoy yourself. And when you're feeling comfortable, you'll find it so much easier to connect with the person sitting opposite you.

Ditch your dating crutch

I'm not too proud to admit that my dating crutch is... a glass of white wine. Because it really helps me to unwind, I've often used it to "take the edge off" an awkward first date. Sometimes it's worked – who doesn't feel more sophisticated with a wine glass in their hand? Even if, well, that wine glass contains a tepid Chardonnay from a tap. However, during the last year, I've come to realise that I've been reaching for that glass of Chardonnay a little too fast. A certain amount of discomfort is natural when you're getting to know someone; it's better to embrace and work through that than trying to numb it gulp by gulp.

Be smarter on your dating app

Honestly, who can keep up with every single conversation? WhatsApp allows you to mute a group chat for a reason, and using it is a sad but beautiful thing. Though you can't get to know someone on a dating app without putting in the time, this time can be hard to find during a busy week. An approach that works for me is setting aside quick 10-minute messaging windows where I concentrate on one app and nothing else. That way, I can give chats my full attention without getting stressed about the fact I'm skiving off work. After all, no one can be their most witty and charming self with a cloud of guilt looming over their head.

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