Written by Charlotte Moore

There’s no way around it, dating can be intimidating. Whether you’re brand new to dating or you’re newly single and wondering where to start, we’ve got you covered. You might feel a bit nervous or out of practice, but these feelings are completely normal. We reached out to award-winning psychologist Wendy Dignan to understand how to get back into dating after a break.

Look at old dating patterns

While it might seem counterintuitive, it’s worth having a think about your previous dating history through an objective lens. “You don’t want to run the risk of setting up the same patterns time and time again. If your dating history feels a bit like groundhog day, then it’s important to take the time to think about why.” Explains psychologist Wendy Dignan. “You can use this information to take forward into new relationships.”

Know when you’re ready to get started

“You’ll know when you’re ready to start dating again,” explains Wendy. “Ideally, you’ll feel as if you’ve moved past a previous relationship and you’re no longer focused on the past. Most importantly, you’ll be feeling confident enough to start dating again–and that word, confidence, is really important.” Wendy explains that it’s also worth increasing your confidence before you start seeking a new partner. “When we have a knock to our self-esteem, we tend to stick to our comfort zone. So, pushing yourself to try new things before you start meeting new people can be really positive.”

Don’t put yourself under too much pressure

If you’re brand-new to dating or you’re newly single after a long-term relationship, it can be really nerve-wracking when you start meeting new people. So, try dipping your toe in before you plunge into the dating pool. Some people find just attending new social events like a book club, a gym class or even a walking group a great way to start. But, remember, there’s no timeline for dating, simply take it as it comes and enjoy the process.

Use your support network

Go ahead and ask a friend or family member to help you set up a dating profile. They can be great sounding boards for advice on how you present yourself and, if it’s been a while they can help you navigate the more modern approach to dating. Things like dating multiple people when you’re just starting out are now completely normal - as long as you're honest with potential partners. Whereas things like waiting three days to text after a date no longer make sense as we all carry phones 24/7.

Take chances and enjoy the process

When you’re online dating it can feel like the options are overwhelming, but many people find themselves in relationships with someone who - on their phone screen - might not seem like a perfect match. So, take chances with who you chat to and you might be surprised. It’s also important to enjoy the process. Not everyone you speak to will be a perfect match, but try to enjoy going out and meeting new people. Dating should be relaxed and fun, so don’t get too bogged down in the details.