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Planning a First Date? Here’s Why You Should Call Them First

Words by Nick Levine

When it comes to dating, it pays to be smart and take advantage of all available options. Badoo comes equipped with video chat and voice call features that allow you to speak to someone without giving away your number or connecting with them on social media. Here are five reasons why you should consider trying these features, complete with best-practice advice from a trio of dating and relationship experts.

1. It's so much better for your own safety

Safety should always be at the forefront of your mind when planning a first date, and a video chat is a way of ensuring you're actually speaking to the person you think you're speaking to. "If the person you're chatting with is reluctant to jump on a video chat and suddenly gets a bit defensive, that could be a red flag," says love and dating coach Michaela Lambert. "Sad as it is, there's a not insignificant number of fake accounts and scammers out there, so this is one way of weeding them out."

Arranging a video chat or voice call can also help you to decide whether you feel comfortable meeting the person in real life. It's not just about asking "whether they look like the person in the photographs," says matchmaker and relationship coach Alex Mellor-Brook, "but also about asking whether they sound like the kind of person they have portrayed in their profile". If something about your match seems off or doesn't quite add up when you speak to them, it's best to err on the side of caution. Trust your gut and don't let yourself be rushed into something that doesn't feel quite right.

2. It can save time and money in the long run

Sometimes you can connect with someone quite nicely in messages, but when you actually meet them, there's no spark whatsoever. It really is gutting when you arrive at a date – one you've been looking forward to and spent time getting ready for – and realise within five minutes that you're probably never going to see that person again. On top of this, it's a real waste of money if you end up paying for drinks or even a meal.

For this reason, Lambert says that arranging a voice call or video chat is "a really good strategy to help you weed out non-starters". Once again, trusting your own intuition is very much the key. "When you actually speak to someone, you'll find that you can gauge really quickly whether it's going to be worth your time and energy to go out and meet them in person at a later date," she says.

However, Lambert also points out that you shouldn't necessarily dismiss someone entirely if the first chat is a flop. "A lot of people don't really come across that well on a video chat or voice call," she says. "It could be that they feel much more natural in person. So, how they come across on that call is just one thing to factor in. If you do really like this person and you're prepared to look past that [awkwardness], then that's all good – go ahead and meet them."

3. It can really help to build a connection

Exchanging messages with someone can definitely help to establish common ground, but as a form of communication, it has its limits. It can also be pretty time-consuming, especially if you wake up every morning to messages in your work, family and friends' group chats. Because of this, arranging a video chat or voice call is a great way to take things to the next level. "It just allows you to get to know each other in a slightly deeper way," says transformational life coach Vicki Bahra.

Interestingly, Bahra points out that it's not just about what the person says, but also about how they say it. "Because you can hear each other's tone of voice on a call, you can kind of gauge people's energy better and get to know who they really are," she says. Plus, on a video chat, you have the added benefit of getting to read their body language and non-verbal cues. "It gives you the chance to kind of lift each other up and make each other laugh," Bahra adds. Mellor-Brook agrees, noting that it's "so much easier to show your sense of humour" on a video chat or voice call.

4. It's a nice dry run for an in-person date

A little bit of awkwardness on a first date is probably unavoidable, but if you've already had a video chat or voice call, it can really take the edge off. It also lets you and your match build a natural rhythm with one another before you actually meet. Lambert recommends "sticking to fairly middle-of-the-road conversation topics" and keeping the voice call or video chat to no more than 10-15 minutes. "You want to leave them wanting more and spark things up just enough," she adds.

Bahra says that if you're really lost for words, simply ask your match whether they like animals. "From there, you can go on to ask whether they have pets now or had pets growing up," she says. "That's a nice way to talk a little about family life and get to know them better in the process."

5. And finally, it can actually be fun

Once the initial hint of awkwardness dissipates, you may find that you really enjoy your voice call or video chat. And if you don't, it's really no big deal – all you've lost is 10-15 minutes of your time and you can move on to your next match on Badoo. It's also remembering that a voice call or video chat doesn't have to be a one-off. If you like speaking to that person, why not arrange to do it again?

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