Since it’s Honesty Day and Badoo is the place to date honestly, we asked ourselves what would historical figures say on their dating profile if they were alive and looking to date?
We’ve taken a look back at some of history’s most famous figures and what they really got up to, and imagined what their dating profiles might look like if they were here today.
An Honest Look At Some Historical Icons And Their Love Lives:
Frida Kahlo
Artist, feminist, and all-round icon Frida Kahlo had a tumultuous relationship with her husband Diego Rivera, marrying in 1929, getting divorced in 1939, and then remarrying in 1940.
While both had affairs over the course of their marriage, Rivera cheated on her with her younger sister (gross).
Frida is rumoured to have affairs with the artist Georgia O’Keefe, actress Dolores del Rio, singer Chavela Vargas, and even the communist leader Leon Trotsky.
Henry VIII
Perhaps the most famous monarch in English history, Henry VIII would have been busy on dating apps.
He was married six times, and invented the Church of England purely so he could get a divorce.
His whole life reads like an insane soap opera, so get ready.
He was first married at the young age of 17 to Catharine of Aragon, who had previously married his older brother Arthur, who had since died.
Look, it was the 1500’s, this is what life was like.
Not long into his first marriage, he began cheating on Catherine with Mary Boleyn, who made the mistake of introducing him to her sister, Anne. Can you guess what happened next?
THEN, after he’d divorced his first wife and married Anne, he started an affair with one of her ladies-in-waiting, made up a story that Anne had cheated on him, and had her beheaded.
A few years later he somehow ended up marrying Anne’s cousin. You might consider the fact that this guy had your cousin murdered a bit of a red flag, no matter how rich he is, but apparently it wasn’t enough to put her off.
He would of course go on to have her executed as well. Honestly Henry seems like one to avoid. Blocked.
Marie Antoinette
Speaking of crazy rich people, next on the list is Marie Antoinette.
She was engaged to be married at the age of just 14, to Louis XVI, heir to the throne of France. By 19, she was Queen of France.
But she and her husband were almost polar opposites. He was quiet, reserved, and focused on his studies, she got absolutely turnt every night.
Allegedly, their marriage went unconsummated for the first seven years, so remember the next time you’re complaining about not getting a text back, it could be worse.
In 1780, she began spending more and more time away at her private castle, as you do. She was rumoured to have had an affair with the Swedish diplomat, Count Axel von Fersen.
And by rumoured, we mean she totally did.
Napoleon Bonaparte
As one of the most famous military minds in history, and someone who tried to conquer most of the world, you wouldn’t necessarily think of Napoleon as a romantic kind of guy. He was probably too busy trying to invade Russia to get a date.
But over the course of his life there is evidence that he sent hundreds of love letters to his wife.
He married Josephine de Beauharnais in 1796, but their marriage was annulled in 1810 because they had not been able to conceive a son.
He then immediately married 18-year old Maria Louise, the daughter of the emperor of Austria. Austria would later go on to declare war on France, which must have made family dinners awkward.
However it has been said that he only truly loved his first wife, and there are some accounts that claim his last word was ‘Josephine!’
During his younger days as a soldier he sent her love letters from around the world, many of which contained the 18th century equivalent of...sexting tbh.
During their marriage, both of them engaged in multiple affairs, some of which even resulted in children.
Somehow, after their separation, they remained on good terms. She was even allowed to retain the title of Empress, and Napoleon covered all her expenses.
Maybe he wasn’t so bad after all (no, he was).
Vincent Van Gogh
Last on our list is one of the most famous painters of all time, Vincent Van Gogh.
Sadly, his love life was pretty much as tragic as… the rest of his life.
He believed that love would make him a better artist. It might well have done, but that doesn’t excuse the fact that he fell in love with his cousin.
She rejected him (obviously), but he kept pursuing her. When he asked her to marry him, she said: ‘no, nay, never.’
It’s believed he proposed to two other women over the course of his life, but each one turned him down.
In a letter to his sister, he wrote:
‘For my part, I still continually have the most impossible and highly unsuitable love affairs from which, as a rule, I emerge only with shame and disgrace.’
Honestly, same.
This goes to show how some of the most famous people in human history were just as messy as modern day reality TV stars.
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