For those of us who’ve been on dating apps during lockdown, because we’ve all had way more time on our hands, we’ve been spending more time engaging with profiles and having better chats, slowly building connections with people we’ve never actually met.
But now that actually meeting up for a real date is a distinct possibility again, some of us are finding ourselves anxious about going.
We conducted a survey to find out how people in the UK are feeling about dating after lockdown, and found that a massive 60% are feeling anxious about meeting up with someone for a date.
This could be tied to health worries, insecurities that we haven’t able to take care of ourselves properly during lockdown, or that our new crush simply won’t like us in person.
Going on a first date has always been nerve-wracking, but putting extra pressure on ourselves won’t make things any easier, so we spoke to dating expert Persia Lawson about why so many of us are feeling anxious around dating after lockdown, and how to fight off those nerves.
How To Get Over FOMU (Fear Of Meeting Up):
Video Date First
Before meeting up for any first date, it’s always a good idea to have a video call, just to make sure there’s chemistry.
But especially if you’re feeling anxious about meeting up irl, a quick video chat can help you relax, and get to know the other person better.
Persia says:
‘It’s always worth communicating with your date beforehand about how you’re both feeling about the current guidelines, and how you’re going to approach the date knowing the rules in place. It’s important to be honest about any nervousness you feel, especially as the chances are that your date is probably feeling the same.’
Take Things Slow
If you’re feeling anxious about physical contact, being clear about that and taking things slow will help establish boundaries that might make you feel more secure and relaxed.
Persia says:
‘These new guidelines mean that you and your date won’t be going back to one another’s houses to get in between the sheets any time soon. This is a good thing, as it enables you to really suss out whether you’re actually compatible before things get physical – meaning that if you wind up being ghosted or your date tells you that they’re not really feeling it, it will hurt a hell of a lot less than if you’d had sex (or even kissed!).’
Embrace The Weirdness
Once thing to keep in mind when dating right now is that social distancing isn’t going to last forever.
These weird dates where you can’t touch each other or get too close will hopefully soon be a thing of the past, so don’t worry about trying to seem super chill or nonchalant as if we’re living through an absolutely bonkers moment in history.
It’s weird, you both know it’s weird, it’s ok to be honest about that.
Persia says:
‘This is such a bizarre situation that it will certainly give you and your date a topic of conversation, if nothing else. I think the anxiety people are feeling around FOMU is as much about being out of practice of dating IRL as it is about contracting the virus itself. But, fear not, dating is really just like riding a bicycle - you never really forget.’
While it’s perfectly natural to be nervous before a date, that shouldn’t stop you from building a connection with someone.
Be honest about how you’re feeling, take things at your own pace, and see where things go.
Read more about how dating is going to change after lockdown.