Let’s be honest, when it comes to dating and sex, things have always been a bit complicated. Throw this year’s coronavirus pandemic into the mix, and it’s no surprise that our attitudes towards physical touch and intimacy have changed. At Badoo, we wanted to delve a little deeper into the way the world is thinking about sex and all its facets, from body image to masturbation and sex as self-care. We joined forces with cultural zeitgeist experts Canopy Insights and spoke to a panel of 5,000 people to get to the nitty-gritty of our attitudes to sex and self-pleasure – here are our findings.

Sex in the UK/Spain/France/Russia/Brazil

• 55% say a prolonged dry spell has a negative effect on their wellbeing
• 69% consider regular orgasms to be part of their self-care routine, like going to the gym or moisturising
• 36% of single people do not feel comfortable talking to a partner about their sexual preferences
• 37% feel under pressure from society to be having sex a certain number of times each week
• Women are 53% more likely than men to have faked an orgasm with someone they are dating
• 61% of women say they orgasm less often than their sexual partner

Sarah Mulindwa, a qualified sexual health nurse and star of E4's The Sex Clinic, said:

“Our sex lives in 2020 have had to adapt in some way. It’s clear from Badoo’s study that sex is still a hugely important part of our wellbeing and general wellness – but sex is different for each individual. For some, it carries more weight of importance than others, in the same way you’d for instance do a workout out, or have a facial. Both you would do to make yourself look and feel better as part of your general wellness, and sex, for many, is the same."

Body inclusivity: discourse vs reality

• 48% have worried about the size or appearance of their genitals and whether they look ‘normal’ (60% of 18-23 year olds vs 45% 37-44 year olds)
• 59% of men and 67% of women feel self-conscious when they have sex due to societal pressures about how they think they should look
• 51% of women have turned down sex because they had not removed body hair
• 68% agree that racism affects society’s perception of what is considered to be physically attractive
• 71% of people feel insecure about their body when comparing it to the bodies they see in mainstream media, in popular culture and on social media
• 72% believe you get to know your own body and sexual preferences better with age

The research also uncovered the huge gap between cultural discourse about body inclusivity, compared to people’s real-life experiences. Worries about appearance are widespread, while insecurity about body shape or body hair, pressure to perform and asking a partner to use protection top the list of Brits’ biggest sex fears.

Badoo is inclusive of all bodies and is calling on all its users to expand our collective appreciation of the bodies we find attractive and encourage safe, respectful sex for all.

Global insight from Dr Victoria Gerstman, Canopy Insights:

“Globally, we see a slow but steady move toward challenging cultural understandings of what kind of body is acceptable and aspirational in the world of sex and dating. In the UK, sex and dating while disabled is still not normalised, while in Brazil, when it comes to dating both men and women are expected to adhere to highly idealised standards of attractiveness. Other countries like Russia see women championing body positivity for women, while men lag behind.”

Sex as part of wellness during Covid-19

With the current uncertain climate leading to increased stress and anxiety, the research has revealed that sex and self-pleasure are an important component of our overall wellbeing today, with 79% agreeing that having an orgasm will relax them and improve their mood if they feel stressed, anxious or unable to sleep.

When it comes to self-pleasure, it seems masturbation gets better with age. Seven in 10 (72%) of 37 to 44 year olds agree it has taught them to know their body and what they like and dislike sexually, vs just 53% of 18 to 24 year olds.

Overall, the top 10 most important things for wellbeing are:

1. Getting enough sleep
2. Maintaining social bonds with friends and family
3. Eating a healthy diet
4. Financial stability
5. Drinking enough water
6. Regular exercise
7. Travel and holidays
8. Having regular orgasms
9. Mindfulness and meditation
10. Having hobbies

However, despite the obvious benefits of self-pleasure, shame around sexual acts is still somewhat deep-rooted. Over half (53%) have been made to feel that masturbating is something to be ashamed of while a staggering 52% of married people would feel guilty talking to their partner about it for fear of hurting their feelings.

Sexual stigmas

The research also reveals the outdated taboos and conforms that still impact Brits today. Women are almost twice as likely as men to fake an orgasm with someone they are dating, and 37% of people feel under pressure from society to be having sex a certain number of times each week.

The research shows the importance of seeking a healthy relationship with sex and self-pleasure during this challenging time, as a boost to overall happiness, stress levels and wellbeing.

Global insight from Dr Victoria Gerstman, Canopy Insights:

“In countries with traditionally religious-cultural backdrops, sexual shame is often deep-rooted. This can make talking about sex, including sharing insecurities, more difficult. In more secular countries, linking sex to overall wellness is a great way to help people feel empowered to have the type of sex they want - whether that's partnered, solo, or no sex at all.”

Unrealistic representations of sexual pleasure

• 35% agree that the female orgasm is accurately represented in film and television
• 70% agree it sets unrealistic expectations for sex in real life
• 50% of 18 to 23-year-olds want to stop or have stopped watching porn
• 63% of men vs 41% of women watched pornography before ever having sex with a partner
• 31% would feel upset or offended if they knew their partner was watching porn solo
• 22% agree watching porn by yourself when you are in a committed relationship is an act of infidelity

In a year when sexual contact has been off-limits for many, representations of sex as an aid to self-pleasure have been of increased importance. The research found that many people believe representations of sex are unrealistic, even problematic, with a surprising number of the younger generation keen to step away from porn altogether in favour of more honest representations of sexual pleasure.

Global insight from Dr Victoria Gerstman, Canopy Insights:

“The growing availability, globally, of apps and social platforms enabling users to share sexual fantasies, nudes, sexts and videos with both existing partners and strangers - and to engage in real-time cam-sex and phone sex - increasingly threatens the dominance of traditional (studio-produced) porn as the go-to masturbatory aid for men, women and non-binary people across markets.

“These same platforms enable users to maintain, and to establish, sexual relationships with others despite the new social distancing norms precipitated by the pandemic - meaning, in effect, that traditional porn is not only less attractive to users than previously, but less necessary for solo or partnered sexual fulfilment.”

Sarah Mulindwa:

"The findings show that contributing factors such as lack of accurate and diverse representation, mainstream beauty standards, cultural barriers and social media, all play a major factor in how we view ourselves, which affects our confidence during sex. My hope is that this year has taught us that ultimately we are all in search of human connection, and the importance of extending kindness and grace to each other in our pursuit to form these connections.”

Badoo partnered with Canopy Cultural Insights to uncover emergent trends in conversations about sex in the UK, Russia and Brazil. The consumer research was carried out by Dynata Research Panel from 25th August to 4th September 2020, with a global sample of 5,028 respondents aged 18-44 in the UK, France, Spain, Russia and Brazil.