Words by Nick Levine
It's vital to be extra vigilant when you're using dating apps as a solo traveller, especially when travelling to another country with a different language, customs, and social norms. After all, you may not know the geography of the place you're visiting, have a full grasp of the language, or totally understand local dating etiquette. It's not so much that some countries are any less safe than others; more that you're slightly on the backfoot when you arrive somewhere new and may not readily know how to get help in a pinch. So, with this in mind, here are eight ways to maximise your personal safety while matching and chatting on a solo trip.
1. Big up your travel bona fides
When you're using a dating app somewhere other than your home country, always endeavour to present yourself as an experienced and clued-up traveller. "If it's your first time in a particular country, I would say it's best not to mention this at first," advises Enas Daeki, a published author and relationship expert. Daeki also suggests mentioning that you have friends or family in that country wherever possible; it's a quick way of letting a match know that you're totally au fait with local customs and culture. The fundamental point is this: if you appear confident and well-informed, you're less likely to leave yourself vulnerable to potential scammers.
2. Always err on the side of caution
As a general rule, it's best to give out as little information about yourself as possible. "Make sure you don’t share anything that could put you at risk like the address of where you're staying or any specific sightseeing plans," advises Daeki. Once again, the aim is not to make yourself vulnerable or an obvious target. The vast majority of people on dating apps have entirely honourable intentions, but being cautious will protect you against the odd bad apple.
3. Think carefully about why you're using a dating app in the first place
When you're away from home turf, it's even more important to swipe intentionally rather than idly. Are you looking for a holiday fling, some platonic company while you're travelling, or a new friend in a place you intend to visit again? If you're clear in your own mind about what you're looking for, you'll also be clearer in your chats on the app. And this way, you're more likely to connect with someone who's genuinely on the same page as you rather than, whisper it, a bit of a chancer.
4. Connect with people before you get there
Badoo lets you update your location on the app and connect with people before you arrive at your holiday destination! By changing your location before you arrive, you give yourself a bit more time to chat with your match and get to know them. You can make it clear what you’re looking for, be that a tour guide or a holiday romance, and ensure they’re on the same page. Here’s how to update your location:
- Navigate to the People Nearby page
- Open the filters
- Type the location where you want to see people
- Update your location
5. Then, talk before meeting up with them
Helpfully, Badoo comes equipped with video chat and voice call features that allow you to speak to someone without giving away your number or connecting with them on social media. "Having a video chat first lets you confirm that the person is exactly who they say they are," Daeki says. "It may also be a good idea to carry out an internet search to make sure they aren't using a fake name or identity." Once you've had a video chat and feel confident that the person has represented themselves accurately, Daeki says that "it's most likely safe to go and meet them in a public place".
6. If you want to meet up, pick somewhere busy
When you're travelling, it's often tempting to look for somewhere "off the beaten track" and "not too touristy". But when you're arranging a drink or coffee with someone you've never met before, the opposite is true. "It's best to meet in a safe space around the landmarks of the place that you’re visiting," advises Daeki. "By this, I mean a big restaurant or coffee shop near a major tourist attraction. This is important because you'll have lots of people around you and there's likely to be good phone reception and taxi availability nearby." For added safety, Daeki recommends meeting up in the daytime when it's light wherever possible.
7. Tell someone where you're going
If you have a friend or family member in the city you're visiting, they're the best person to tell about your date. Alternatively, if you're staying in a hotel where you've built up a rapport with a staff member, you could let them know your whereabouts. If neither of these options is available, pick a friend from back home who knows how to alert the local authorities in the event of something going wrong. You might also want to save the number of local authorities somewhere handy for yourself, like in your notes app or your contacts. Before you meet your match, tell your nominated person exactly where you're going to be and from what time. Then, arrange to send a simple text – "all good" or something similar – within five minutes of meeting your match. A second check-in text after 30 minutes or so can't hurt, either. According to Daeki, "The main thing is to make sure that someone else knows where you are going and where to find you at all times".
8. If in doubt, cut it short
Trusting your gut is especially important when you're in an unfamiliar place. If someone you're chatting to on a dating app gives you bad vibes, nip the conversation in the bud. And if someone you meet in person makes you feel the slightest bit uncomfortable, it's always best to get up and leave. In a busy public place, it should be pretty easy to beat a hasty retreat and disappear into the crowd.
9. And finally, try to enjoy yourself
Once you've taken all the necessary safety precautions, you'll have enough peace of mind to relax and really enjoy your date. Whether you're looking for a holiday fling or something more serious, there's something about being away from home that makes dating even more exciting. Maybe it's the fact you don't have boring stuff like household chores or meal prep at the back of your mind. Or maybe just the "what happens on vacation, stays on vacation" mindset? Plus, if there’s zero chemistry on the date, you’re highly unlikely ever to bump into that person again. Happy (and safe) solo travels!
