Written by Nick Levine
Starting a conversation on Badoo is a bit of a balancing act. On the one hand, you want to make a strong first impression – if you're too bland, your match may lose interest before the chat even gets going. But on the other, you don't want to stand out for the wrong reasons. Opening messages that miss the mark are a surefire way to get yourself ignored. With this in mind, here's a handy guide to "dos" and "don'ts" that will help your natural charm to shine through in a way that's dating app appropriate.
Don't write an essay. No, really, please don't
The problem with very long opening messages is that they demand – or at least seem to demand – very long responses. If someone has taken the trouble to type out an entire paragraph, you can't very well reply with something simple like: "Thanks for that, I'm great actually!" For this reason, very long opening messages can actually be quite offputting. Your match may wait until later on to respond, or even end up forgetting entirely. So, it's always better to keep things short but sweet instead of crafting the Badoo equivalent of a novel.
Do ask your match about themselves
Seriously, there is nothing sexier than showing a genuine interest in someone and doing so right from the start. It shows you've read and actually engaged with their profile. If your match has an interesting hobby, ask them how they got involved in the first place. Or, if their profile shows they've travelled somewhere unusual, ask what it was like and how they got there. These purposeful questions are more likely to spark a flowing, natural conversation that doesn't take any effort to keep going. After all, a chat on Badoo should always be really good fun.
Don't open with a joke
Yes, humour is absolutely a vital ingredient in any Badoo chat, but it's risky to lead with something funny. For one thing, it's hard to get a grip on someone's sense of humour from their profile alone. For another, some things just aren't as funny written down as they seem in your head. It's generally better to wait until you've exchanged a few messages before showing off your razor-sharp wit – this way, your match will know you're an all-round ace of hearts, and not just the joker in the pack.
Do ask about music, movies or books
These topics are fun failsafe options because everyone has a favourite film or band, and everyone has at least one book that means something special to them. The key here is not to judge anyone else's taste in pop culture and also to be completely honest about your own. If you love working out to cheesy pop bangers from the '90s, say so – it's a part of who you are, and your match might find it endearing. Equally, if you can't resist listening to Christmas songs in July, well, you've just got to own it. Life is too short to pretend to be cooler than you really are on Badoo.
Don't get political
There's nothing wrong with trying a topical opening line as long as you keep it lighthearted – actually, this shows you're inquisitive and engaged with the world around you. But delving into a super-serious and potentially inflammatory issue risks killing a conversation before it's even started. You just never know what someone may think about the issue in question, even if their profile suggests they lean one way or the other. As a general rule, if you wouldn't say it to a co-worker who's not a good friend, don't say it to someone on Badoo. And besides, politics is rarely a turn-on anyway, is it?
Do ask about their star sign
Not everyone is into horoscopes, but even if your match is a hardened skeptic, you won't regret slipping in a bit of astrology banter. It's not just a great ice-breaker, but also a nice stealthy way of finding out about someone's views on life without being too serious about it. Just don't open by asking someone if they're "a typical Gemini". As a proud Gemini myself, I can confirm that our reputation for being tricky and two-faced is completely unwarranted. However, it is absolutely true that we are witty, inquisitive and terrific company. We also really know how to sustain a conversation.
Don't try too hard
Sad but true: any dater can smell desperation a mile off. For this reason, an opening message with the merest whiff of neediness or cheesiness stands a good risk of being ignored. As a general rule, if it sounds like a chat-up line that your dad might have used in 1989, don't use it. Anything pun-based like "if you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber" is cringe and just not going to cut it. Be cool, not a keeno, and show that you're confident, not someone who craves attention. This is one of those times in life when less really can be more.
Do take a hint, but don't be so hard on yourself
If someone doesn't reply to your opening message, don't spam them with unwanted follow-ups – it comes off as aggressive and won't make them any more likely to reply. Equally, if a conversation seems to be flickering out, don't make too many attempts to rekindle it. If you're the only one putting any effort into a chat, it's probably time to call it quits. Sometimes it's best just to accept that you didn't have much in common and move on. This wasn't your fault, or theirs, it's just the way it was. The great thing about Badoo is there are always plenty more matches to be had.
