First dates aren’t always easy. You might be nervous or doubting yourself. You might have had bad dates in the past. Or, hopefully, you really like the person and you’re desperate for it to go well!
Here are a few tips for you to give yourself the best chance of having a great first date.
How To Have A Good First Date:
Be Honest About What You’re Looking For
Whether you’re online dating or you’ve met someone through friends, it’s always best to be honest about what you want.
Many people online have been guilty of lying about their height, their age, or what they’re looking for. This is a terrible way to make a first impression, as it immediately shows you to be ‘flexible’ with the truth. Lying is one of the most immediate turn-offs, so make sure you're being honest about yourself.
If you’re honest about who you are and what you want, you set a precedent for honesty moving forward which means it’s less likely that there’ll be unpleasant surprises further down the line.
Wear Something That Makes You Feel Confident
When it comes to what to wear on a first date, there’s a lot of advice out there about the best colours or styles to make yourself more attractive.
We’re going to give some different advice: wear whatever makes you feel comfortable and confident.
Dressing up in something you’d never normally wear will make you feel self-conscious, which is never good on a date, they’ll be able to tell straight away.
Wear something you think makes you look good, that also shows off your own personal style. If it makes you feel confident, they’ll be more attracted to you, no matter what you’re wearing.
Choose Something You Both Like To Do
A good first date is one where both people feel comfortable. Ideally, it should have a good balance of activity and conversation time, rather than 100% one or the other. After all, there’s no point having a first date if you can’t actually get to know the person.
Find out what they like to do in their spare time, and figure out something you both enjoy. This is a nice ice-breaker, but it also means your first date won’t be something completely new to either of you.
If you can’t settle on something, that might tell you that the two of you don’t have that much in common, but it’s also an opportunity to try new things.
However, if in doubt, drinks at a nice bar or a cute coffee place are always good first dates - they’re classics for a reason people.
Talk About What’s Important To You
In the past, we’ve all been told to stay away from big topics during first date conversation. But now more and more of us feel comfortable talking about the big things that matter to us, like politics, money, and future plans. This lets you know more about each other, and stops the conversation from being boring. No one likes small talk, so jump into the big issues and see what you think.
For some people, they’ll even be comfortable with you talking about your ex. People are becoming more open about their past, which means you don’t have to feel like you have to hide anything.
Of course, it’s still probably best to keep the conversation flowing, rather than lingering on your ex for too long. There’s nothing worse than being stuck on a date listening to someone who clearly hasn’t moved on, so if you haven’t, maybe hold off on dating until you’re ready to leave the past behind.
Be Aware Of Body Language
Your body language can be read both consciously and subconsciously by who you’re on a date with, so you need to be aware of the signals you’re sending.
Non-verbal cues, like your facial expression and the way you position yourself can speak volumes about how you’re feeling.
Don’t fold your arms - it closes you off and makes you seem distant. If you see them cross their arms when you start talking about something, it might be a sign to veer off and change the subject.
Do make eye contact - this shows you’re interested and engaged with them. Plus it shows off your eyes, one of your best features.
Do lean towards them - proximity is a good way of signalling that you’re attracted to them. If you’re sitting across from them, leaning forward brings the two of you closer, making things more intimate.
Remember not to overdo it, and don’t cross any boundaries they may not be ready for. Touch is a big step, so until you know they’re open to that, stick to positive signals rather than actual physical contact.
Put Your Phone Away
All of us have been guilty of paying too much attention to our phones when hanging out with friends, but doing it on a first date is far worse.
You don’t want to come across as rude or uninterested, so keep your phone out of your hand to make sure you focus on them and what they’re saying.
Imaging if you were on a date with someone who couldn’t stay off Instagram, or wouldn’t stop texting someone else. You probably wouldn’t ask them out for a second date, so remember to keep your phone use to an absolute minimum.
Be Confident!
This last tip is one you’ve heard a hundred times before. But it really is the most important thing to do on a first date - just be confident.
If you do this, the person you’re with will find you engaging, interesting, and attractive. Be yourself, there’s no point trying to be someone you think they might like, because that person isn’t you.
Lastly, if you do have a good first date, don’t wait for them to ask you out again. Be assertive, let them know you had a great time and you’d like to see them again.
Read more about how to go from a match to a first date, or learn 7 foolproof ways to get more matches on dating apps.
