Written by Jasmine Lee-Zogbessou

Let’s say you’ve been talking to someone new for a little while and you finally decide to meet up for that first date. You’re excited as you make your way to the date spot. You arrive, see them, greet and the date begins.

After a few shared platters and a bottle of wine however, you realise you’re not as interested as you first thought and question whether you see a second date on the cards.

Part of you does wonder whether you should give it a chance—they’re nice enough—but then you begin to feel a sensation in your stomach, firmly telling you to just call it quits. That right there is your gut feeling, an instinctual response within your body that is linked to your brain and often influences your decisions.

It can’t always be explained in everyday life but here’s why your gut should be trusted when dating.

Select the ‘right’ person for you

Millions of people use dating apps worldwide and with so many options at the swipe of a finger, it can be tricky knowing who to match with and then later on, who to pursue further.

Let’s say you need to decide between two people who you want to take more seriously. One match has a great sense of humour and shares your love of cheesy romcoms, but your other match is kind-hearted and shares your disdain for pineapple on pizza, so how can you choose?

While there is nothing wrong with pausing to apply pros and cons, it will often be clear who you like just a little bit more. Instead of overthinking, genuinely ask yourself who you want and answer the question quickly. Your eyes may let you know who you fancy, but your gut will play the most honest role and tell you who you actually see a future with without you having to think twice. 

Less likely to settle

Everyone has their flaws, no one is perfect. However, once you notice a flaw within your date that doesn’t sit right with your gut, it’s important to acknowledge whether it’s a trait you can genuinely overlook. The ‘small’ issues you dismiss in the beginning of a potential relationship will always come back to bite you in the end. Don’t settle by trying to convince yourself that you’re okay with your date always being late or you’re okay with your date being flaky, if these are flaws you don’t tend to tolerate.

Be accepted for who you are

Dating ‘rules’ change all the time – we’re told to avoid showing too much emotion too soon, double texting and becoming official too early. But who makes these rules and why do we have to play by them?

Trusting in your instincts means wholly trusting in yourself and your character. Tell your date how great they look in several different ways, plan a cheesy second date if you’re truly into them and don’t shy away from who you are if you’re a romantic. You should let what feels right to you guide you in your dating journey, rather than second guessing if you’re doing ‘too much’.

If they don’t reciprocate or accept you for who you are, then they’re likely not for you anyway.

Trust in yourself, trust in others

Overall, finding the right person, not settling and being accepted for you are all factors that are more likely to lead to happy, healthy relationships, if that’s what you’re seeking from dating.

Definitely date for fun and to explore what’s out there too. If the end goal isn’t a relationship for you, relying on your gut instincts can facilitate good experiences regardless.

Trusting in yourself first is essential to help you trust in others and there’s no secure relationship, serious or otherwise, without trust.