Written by Ally Head

Cuffing season is well and truly here, ladies and gents.

It’s become a viral meme for a reason: sadly, being single in winter can suck, and so it’s tempting to lock someone down for a short few months of winter romance until hot girl summer returns once more.

It’s not surprising that as the nights get colder and Christmas draws closer, you might feel the urge to give in to the notion of cute, cosy date nights by the fire, spooning, drinking mulled wine and scoffing Stollen. But trust me when I say that rushing into a relationship to avoid being on your own for Christmas is not the best idea.

While the holiday season has loads of perks - we’re looking at you, Bailey’s, mince pies, and stuffing balls - the pressure to be with someone during said season can feel stifling.

Take ice skating, as an example. And matching Christmas jumpers. Even Winter Wonderland, where most rides involve a two-seater, can feel like it’s screaming, “Where’s your other half?!”. Often it can feel like the festive season is quite literally designed for couples.

Then there’s the small issue of Christmas movies. Sure, some are about fat men in red suits and others, green creatures finding their Christmas spirit, but so - and I repeat, so - many are about finding true love. The Holiday, It’s A Wonderful Life, When Harry Met Sally - the list is endless. There are only so many times you can watch Love Actually without bawling at the sight of Karen opening a Joni Mitchell album and promptly dialling that date that went wrong in July.

Say you make it back to your family home for Christmas without being pressured into a quick-fix relationship. What then? How do you avoid your Grandma’s prying questions about when you’re going to “settle down”, or your drunk Uncle’s jokes about you being “single forever”? (yep - we’ve all been there).

That’s before we even get started on the bunches of mistletoe tied up left, right and centre just waiting to catch you out at social events.

One Urban Dictionary entry describes cuffing season as “a stupid made-up season with no correlating evidence whatsoever” – which isn’t entirely wrong. As a Relationships Editor who talks to some of the best experts in the business day in, day out, I know that it’s a seasonal way of dating that, for some, can work. But, for others, it’s not quite so simple and can be problematic.

How so? Well, first things first, any relationship that starts its life because you felt sad watching Elf is flawed. Sure, you might enjoy the company to begin with, but if you’re not super into the person you’re dating, do you really want to spend half of the year “cuffed” to them? Short answer: no.

Secondly: the term initially came to exist as a joke, sure, but I can’t help but resent the idea of being “cuffed” to someone, even if in jest.

And lastly, it reflects a rising trend – to constantly feel the need to be with someone, regardless of whether they’re the right person for you. I understand that the pandemic - and subsequent dating - was hard and that we all love a) a shag and b) a snuggle. But trust me when I say entering into a relationship for the sake of a relationship is problematic. What if one person catches feelings? Or what if someone you really like comes back on the scene?

The stats do the talking, really: in a new survey by Badoo, 34.8% said they dislike being single over Christmas, largely because it makes them feel lonely (69%). 49% said they feel more pressure to date in November and December.

But further, one 2018 study from Relate - a charity dedicated to supporting couples through relationship difficulties - found that over half (55%) of UK adults reckon the festive season places added strain on existing relationships.

Statistically, it’s a tough time of year for both those in a relationship and those who aren’t and, while you all think you’re craving a relationship RN, you’re actually craving it at a time of year pretty much guaranteed to be stressful.

Christmas is meant to be about joy and goodwill but, news flash: for most, it can be a fairly full-on time of year. Combine family drama, end-of-year exhaustion and locking in a relationship with someone for the sake of it and you’ve got yourself a recipe for disaster, my friend.

Worried you’ll cave to the pressure and lock in that person you’ve been talking to? Or make a more casual fling serious for the sake of having a plus one for your work Christmas do? Trust me when I say, you owe it to yourself not to.

Also, psychologically, the different seasons can impact both human behaviour and your mood. “The lack of sunlight, colder temperatures and the tendency to hibernate can lead us to want more human contact, as we are not outside triggering our Vitamin D levels, which can lead to a dip in our moods”, explains registered BPS psychologist Lilly Sabir.

So, next time you find yourself feeling that pressure, know this: you can actually boost your own serotonin levels in ways that don’t require you to tie yourself down with someone you’re not that into. How? By being out in the sun or meeting up with others, shares Sabir. “Basically, by regulating your own mood better through external environmental stimuli.”

At the risk of sounding totally cringe, know this: self-love is the biggest gift you can give yourself this Christmas. You’ll thank yourself for taking the time to work on yourself and make meaningful connections with people that may actually lead to something more serious. Don’t rely on someone else to make you feel good (and ultimately regret it).

You heard it here first.