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“He Was My First Thought When I Woke Up in the Morning” – How Enrique & David Overcame Family Acceptance for Love

As told to Badoo by Enrique

Although we matched on Badoo on 16 December 2010, we didn't see each other for the first time until two weeks later. I still remember how good it felt to see him in person and hear his voice for the first time. The date we consider to be the start of our relationship is 12 February 2011, which was the day I told David that I was going to stop talking to other guys. Well, what I actually told him is that I’d realised that for a few weeks now he had been my first thought when I woke up in the morning almost every day. That day, we became exclusive and promised to tell each other the truth about our feelings and stop our relationship if the circumstances didn’t feel right.

Tough beginnings

When we first met David was still living with his parents. He warned me that we weren't going to be able to see each other every day because he wasn't completely out of the closet and didn’t go out very often. If he suddenly changed his habits, his parents were going to start asking questions. I said it didn't matter–that the important thing was to keep seeing each other and that I would take things at his pace.

What actually happened is that we started to see each other every day; morning and afternoon. When he finished university in the morning I went to pick him up, at midday I took him home, after lunch I picked him up again, and in the evening I took him home again. And so it went on for several years until he bought a bicycle and had a bit more autonomy to get around (we lived on two opposite corners of the city).

Meeting the friends

Bearing in mind that it didn’t start as a serious relationship, it wasn’t our intention to introduce each other to family and friends. But, it turns out David had already told his friends about me after the first time we met. So very soon he took me to the skating rink to meet two of his friends and, not long after, with all his gang to the cinema and a birthday barbecue. They welcomed me like one of their own. Some of my best friends warned me about the age difference between us, but over time, they admitted that David surprised them as much as he surprised me in terms of maturity. They even joked that David was the most mature in our relationship!

Meeting Enrique’s family

Whilst it wasn’t our intention to introduce ourselves to each other's families, there were certain circumstances that accelerated David's integration into mine. One day my older brother asked me to pick up my nephews from school. David was with me, as he got out of the car, my nephew asked me if he was my boyfriend. The key moment of acceptance came when my Aunt arrived by train from Madrid on the same day I was going to go to the cinema with David and asked me to pick her up at the station. As the time the train arrived coincided with the end of the film, we picked her up together so as not to keep her waiting. When we left David at his house, my Aunt asked me all about him; apparently, he had made a very good impression on her. It was my Aunt who introduced David to the family, encouraging me to invite him to a family gathering. From then on, David was one of the family, completely accepted by everyone; and he felt very much at home.

Meeting David’s family

My integration into David’s family had to wait much longer. In fact, they didn’t know I existed until it was time for his graduation ceremony. It was only the night before that David told them that he was gay (not bisexual as they’d previously thought) and that we’d been a couple for years. Before that, each time we met, I had been Raquel, a friend and classmate at the university. It’s still a joke with the real Raquel even now. I had to wait a few more years to become fully accepted and involved in the family, but now, I feel very much at home amongst them.

Most of them, both friends and family, were surprised to learn that we had met through a dating website. But, little by little, our relationship grew stronger over time. It went from emotional and physical interest to gradual, slow-burning infatuation. Some friends warned us of the "three-year crisis" that all relationships go through. After three years, we waited for a crisis that did not come. Then we were warned of the "five-year crisis," and once again, it didn’t come.

Long distance

As time passed, my feelings for David were getting stronger and stronger and I sensed it was reciprocal. That's not to say that we never had any arguments, but we were able to resolve them with respect and understanding. So, when the time came for us to go long distance due to David’s study year abroad and me moving for work, the relationship was solid enough not to falter with the distance.

Planning a future together

We moved in together during the summer of 2018 and started planning for the future. We knew we wanted to get married, and joked about who should propose to whom. In 2019, I made the decision to propose to David while we were enjoying a trip to Sintra that I’d arranged for his birthday. But the ring didn't arrive in time and I had to wait until February 2020 to camouflage the proposal with a romantic dinner prepared by me at home for our anniversary.

The pandemic meant that we had to hold off on wedding planning for longer than we liked, but finally, everything came together. Despite the chaos of organising a wedding during a pandemic, it turned out absolutely perfect. For our honeymoon, we travelled through the northern half of Spain. It was a fantastic two weeks, seeing places together, tasting the different foods and living like Kings.

We’ve been asked the question "Has getting married changed anything in your relationship? many times since then. The answer is no, it hasn't changed anything in our relationship, but it’s given us a nice romantic feeling that’s still there more than four months after the wedding.

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